“Noooooo!” you scream in anguish as your dreams (and your soul) are crushed by those big red letters staring back at you. Okay, an actual rejection letter would probably let you down way more gently than that. The soul-crushing disappointment, though? That’s super real and, well, crushing.

But your dreams don’t have to end that way. Use these 11 secrets to good college essays to help you nail all your college application essays and keep your dreams on track.

11 Secrets to Good College Essays

Whether you’re writing a general personal statement or one of what feels like a million supplemental admission essays, the nuts and bolts of what creates good college essays don’t really change that much. That means the secrets below apply in most cases.

Secret #1: Decode the prompt

The goal of essentially every prompt (as well as the general personal statement) is to give the admissions committee insight into who you are—as a person, as a student, and most importantly, as a potential student and community member at that specific school.

In other words, decoding the prompt is essential to your admission prospects. Once you decode the prompt, you can focus on showing the committee who you are and why you’re the best candidate within the scope of the prompt itself.

But you also need to understand what’s being asked specifically in a prompt and recognize the hints about the scope and structure of your response. Not sure how to do that? That’s okay. I’m here to help.

How to decode a college essay prompt

Let’s look at an example.

Prompt: “Tell us about personal, social or family challenges you have faced. How have you dealt with them, and how have they shaped your thinking? (500 words or less)”

The first hint is the word length.

While pretty standard, 500 words doesn’t give you a ton of space to work with. Thus, being clear and concise is key.

Second, the prompt is asking you to address three different things:

• Share personal, social, or family challenges
• Show how you dealt with them
• Show how you changed because of those challenges

This tells you that what you write about has to be directly related to you or impact you personally. You can’t tell a story about something that happened before you were born or about something that happened to your best friend and didn’t involve you.

The question is also asking for information that highlights important aspects of your character, background, or skills. While you might feel like the death of your grandparent is the most compelling story to tell, sharing the story of leading a group in class to victory on a project might be more enlightening for the committee.

Finally, the phrasing in the question suggests that you really need to bring home the lessons you’ve learned and how you’re going to apply those lessons in college and beyond.

Read this response to see how well one student decoded (or didn’t decode) the prompt above.

The main takeaway is, regardless of the prompt, understanding what a prompt is really asking is central to writing good college essays. Want more help on how to tackle a specific prompt? Check out these resources:

• 10 Common Types of College Essay Prompts—and How to Crush Them
• Decode the Common App College Essay Prompts for 2018-19

Secret #2: Think like the admissions committee

The admissions officers decide whether you’re admitted to your dream school. That means, to write a killer essay, you need to think like them and figure out what they care about.

Ultimately, they want insight into your perspective, your thinking, and your self-awareness. But they’re also considering the following:

What impact you’ll have

• What do you value about this school?
• What experiences have shaped your perspective and are unique to you (and are obvs worth sharing with your peers)?
• What do you want to get out of the college experience, specifically at this school?
• What strengths will serve you well in this program and the community? (Many prompts will directly ask this, but even if they don’t, trust me—the admissions committee wants to know.)
• How will you aid your peers?

The admissions committee often also wants to get an idea of what impact you’ll have on the reputation of the college—both during your college years and beyond. This isn’t universally true (obviously a community college doesn’t care if you want to cure cancer). But most admissions committees are considering your potential ROI (return on investment).

In other words, make it clear to them what you want to ultimately achieve in your career. Whatever that is, it will (eventually) reflect back on the school you attended, so it helps them decide if you’re a good fit.

Demonstrated interest and yield

Demonstrated interest is pretty self-explanatory—it’s how well you demonstrate your interest in the specific school. That means showing why, SPECIFICALLY, you want to attend this school. If you could remove the name of the school or program in your essays and drop in any other school/program name, you’re not effectively demonstrating your interest.

Yield is the percentage of accepted students who actually enroll. When you can demonstrate your interest, admissions officers are more likely to assume you’d actually enroll if accepted—and thus increase the yield of their offers (something that’s good for them).

Want more insight on what the admissions committee is thinking? Read Personal Statement Advice: Here’s What the Admissions Experts Have to Say.

Secret #3: Embrace a theme

Good college essays have a narrative or theme that connects all of the ideas. Period. Even if the prompt itself is pretty open-ended, your response should have a purpose and be centered around a theme.

That means making clear connections that bring the theme into focus throughout your essay.

For example, maybe you want to prevent needless suffering due to lack of access to preventative healthcare. Or maybe you have a lifelong passion for artistic expression or a desire to connect with others from different cultures.

Whatever *it* is, you want a theme that tells an engaging and compelling story. Then make sure that narrative is cohesive throughout your application essay. What you don’t want is a list of key ideas that feel disconnected.

If you need help identifying a theme, here are a few posts that can help you brainstorm ideas:

• How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas That Stand Out
• 4 Must-Answer Questions Before Brainstorming Personal Statement Topics
• Personal Statement Topics: A Step-by-Step Tutorial to Finding Yours!

Finally, many of the same elements of writing a personal narrative essay apply to college application essays. That means you can gain insight in how to approach your application essays by understanding what makes a personal narrative powerful.

Secret #4: Outline before you write

Once you know what you’re going to write about (see Secret #1 if you need help decoding the prompt), an outline is your bestiest of besties. Mapping out your essay in an outline or using a graphic organizer will help keep your essay focused.

More than that, it’ll help you organize your ideas logically.

And most importantly, outlining makes it easier for you to see how to connect different sections to a central idea or theme (see Secret #3).

Secret #5: Be authentic and unique

Everyone has a unique story to tell. Embrace yours, and be authentic in telling it.

What do I mean by that?

First, write in your own voice and at your own writing ability. Being fake will be obvious, yo. Don’t make stuff up, don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not, and don’t use so-called “big words” just because you think they make you sound smart. They don’t.

Second, write authentically about your experiences, your thoughts, your goals, and so on. If you were telling a friend about something, how would you talk about it? You’d be real and share your true thoughts, feelings, and aspirations, right? That’s the voice you want to capture.

Third, show why you’re unique and what makes you stand out from other applicants. How? Focus on key experiences that have shaped who you are. How you’ve responded to, learned from, and grown as a result of those experiences are the details that make you unique. Make a strong statement that tells YOUR unique story.

One caveat here is that you also want to keep Secrets #6, #7, and #8 in mind when crafting unique and authentic narratives.

Secret #6: Perfect the art of the humblebrag

You’re a badass, so own it—humbly, of course. This delicate balance lies in showing the admissions committee why you’re a badass without explicitly saying, “I’m a badass, yo!”

Enter the humblebrag.

Writing about yourself can be tough. I get it. But your application essays are one of the few places you’re expected to toot your own horn. It’s your job to show the admissions committee how awesome you are so that giving you an offer is a no-brainer.

Think of humblebragging as sort of like passive-aggressive bragging. You want to project confidence about who you are, why you’re unique, what attribute you’re zeroing in on, what you achieved, etc., but do so in a subtle rather than cocky way.

Let’s look at a few examples:

Example #1 (strong English skills): “Learning English was a challenge, but I worked hard and placed at the top of my English Language Learning class and received top marks on the TESOL exam.”

Example #2 (leadership experience): “My peers frequently looked to me for leadership and guidance, electing me to serve as group leader to ensure our best results.”

Example #3 (returning to school after a long absence): “Because I have had time to develop myself personally and professionally, I bring a strong sense of maturity and responsibility to my work.”

Trust me, I know how uncomfortable it can be to sell yourself, but that’s the whole point of college application essays, so don’t sell yourself short. And definitely don’t write about how you’re not very good at something. Embrace your awesomeness, whatever it is, in ways that show your strengths, character, ambitions, and drive.

Still feeling a little uncomfortable braggin’ about your badassery? Read How to Write an Essay About Yourself With Confidence.

Secret #7: Put on your persuasive pants

Regardless of what you’re writing about in your application essays, you want to be persuasive in your tone, in your word choices, and in the way you project confidence. How?

Don’t be wishy-washy

Promise, right now, to ban the phrases “I believe,” “I think,” and “I hope” (and any other phrases that lack an authoritative voice) from your application essays. Those phrases actually undermine your projected confidence, undermine your conviction in whatever follows the phrases, and ultimately, undermine the admissions committee’s confidence in you.

Use persuasive writing techniques

Your words and your approach matter a lot when you’re trying to be persuasive. At the core of persuasion are ethos, pathos, and logos (you can read about how to use them in your writing here), but there are many persuasive techniques you can use to convince the admissions committee that you’re perfect for the school.

Don’t use underwhelming aspirations

While you want to be authentic (see Secret #5), you don’t want to be underwhelming by saying something like, “I want to work at a mid-tier company in the plastics industry.” Not very compelling, right?

Instead, think big. Be bold. You should shoot for the stars in terms of your goals and aspirations. NO ONE WILL FOLLOW UP ON THIS. That said, you don’t have free license to lie or BS your way through your college application essays. Just be fearless and confident.

Describe the absolute dream. Then convince the admissions committee not only that you’re equipped to achieve it, but also that this school is central to making that dream a reality.

And hey, if you need to literally put on a snazzy pair of pants to feel more persuasive, no judgment here. I may or may not have worn silver leopard-print pants covered in glitter when writing persuasive essays in college.

Secret #8: Avoid a snoozefest

Your goal is to be accepted, which means not putting the admissions committee to sleep, obviously. The admissions committee literally has to read THOUSANDS of essays from applicants just like you who are just as eager to be accepted.

The good news is that there are some techniques you can use to get—and keep—their attention by being engaging and telling a compelling narrative. How? I’m glad you asked. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Use a good hook

Starting with a good hook is essential to writing good application essays. Why? You want to get the admissions committee engaged with your essay from the very first sentence. Need help developing a compelling opening? Read How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way and How to Write Attention Grabbers That Work.

SHOW, don’t tell, the committee why you’re awesome and a good fit for the school

In other words, share a story. Don’t simply tell the admissions officers something. SHOW them through the actions you took, how your thinking shifted, how you were impacted by something, what you felt…yada, yada, yada. Tap into details that evoke emotions using descriptive, emotive words. Paint a picture that’s compelling.

Focus on what you’re passionate about

Don’t write about something just because you think it will be impressive. Admissions officers will see right through that. If you choose something that you’re passionate about, the enthusiasm behind it will show. And that’s super important for writing good college essays.

Secret #9: Keep the focus on YOU

This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many students use too much valuable essay space to talk about something or someone else that’s more tangential to their own story.

For instance, a common mistake is focusing completely on an event that took place, such as an event you volunteered at, something monumental that happened to you, or something that happened to everyone (like 9/11).

While what occurred is important, you need to demonstrate how it affected YOU and how YOU felt. Admissions officers want to see how YOU think and how YOU’VE grown. The essay is the only place on YOUR application to truly take them into YOUR mind.

The same goes for if you’re writing about someone who inspired YOU or shaped who YOU are in some critical way.

In other words, YOU are the star (in case me screaming it at you in all caps 100 times didn’t emphasize that enough, heh). Bask in the spotlight!

Secret #10: End with pizzazz

The end of your application essay, whatever the prompt, is your mic-drop moment. It’s your last chance (in that essay, anyway) to make a lasting impression, so make it count!

Dial into the core takeaway you want the reader to remember and end with something that brings your theme (see Secret #3) together cohesively while making a strong statement.

Here are a few examples of powerful closings:

Theme #1: Developing resilience through adversity

Closing: I am not here before you today in spite of my setbacks, but rather because of how they challenged me and inspired me to change and adapt. The barriers helped me build resiliency and led me to pursue my dreams, knowing that I have the strength and determination it takes to succeed and make a difference in the lives of others.

Theme #2: My father, my role model

Closing: To me, my father epitomized success. I idolized him as only a son can, and even when he faced incredible setbacks and had to regroup, I saw his strength and determination as a source of inspiration. I aspire to someday have the same impact on those around me, share the same love with my family, and see the same intense respect and admiration in my own son’s eyes. Only then will I truly know success.

Secret #11: Get a second pair of eyes

Like anything of monumental importance, getting a second (or third or fourth) pair of eyes on your college application essays can provide crucial feedback. And the first 10 secrets here convey just how much thought needs to go into your essays—and the aspects that are essential to getting them right.

Friends, family members, teachers, guidance counselors, and others in your life can probably give you some broad-level feedback on whether your essays are compelling. But sometimes the surest way to tell your BEST story is with the help of an impartial observer.

Enter Kibin’s admission essay editors—who know all the secrets to good college essays.

We’ll help you polish your essays to make sure you’re on the right track—to avoid that soul-crushing defeat of a rejection from your dream school.

As you step in front of a panel of rather intimidating celebrity judges for your audition, they eye you up for a few seconds, and then one of them says, “In 500 words, tell us why we should choose you.”

Your entire audition rests on the answer to this one question. A million thoughts (and thoughts of a million dollars) rush through your mind. Should you lead with a funny story? Should you be serious and scholarly? Should you begin with esoteric thoughts about the universe?

There’s no time to worry about that now. You wish you knew this was the question they were going to ask. You wish you had time to prepare.

The personal statement is the college admissions equivalent of trying out for such a TV show—except, of course, you have time to prepare, and the prize is college admission, not a million dollars.

Like the TV audition, your college “audition” means you have just one chance (and a few hundred words) to prove your worth.

First impressions are everything, so impressing the judges (or in this case admissions reps) right off the bat is certainly going to improve your chances of being admitted.

Not sure how to make that happen? Here’s how to start your personal statement the right way.

How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way

Starting a personal statement the right way means that your opening lines make readers take notice and make them want to keep reading to learn more about you.

This clever, attention-grabbing opening is also known as a hook. You know, kinda like a fishing hook (or a fishing lure). It’s shiny, attractive, and irresistible.

To learn the basics of writing a good hook, check out these blog posts:

• What Is a Hook Sentence? (Infographic)
• How to Write Good Hook Sentences

With the basics of writing hooks under your belt, let’s move on to the specifics of writing excellent hooks for a personal statement.

How Long Should an Introduction Be in a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is generally about 500 words. That’s not a lot of space. Thus, your opening shouldn’t be more than a few sentences.

You need to hook the reader quickly and move on to the main point of your statement.

Here’s an example:

“Who are you?” my grandmother asked me. I was confused by the question. How could a lady that had practically raised me not know who I am? My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease just three months prior; three months after her diagnosis, my grandmother had forgotten how to walk, eat, and in the end breathe; however, that one question stuck with me: who am I?

The start of this personal statement is only 66 words long, but it’s full of information. Readers learn about the writer’s grandmother, her health condition, and the important question that leads this writer to some form of self-discovery.

Readers will also be intrigued and continue reading. Why? They want to learn more about the connection between the writer, his or her grandmother, and the connection to the writer’s self-discovery and college admission.

The takeaway? Keep it short and sweet. Don’t try to ramble on in order to take up space. Use clear, specific wording, and choose your words wisely to ensure they’ll have the most impact.

How Do You Write a Hook in a Personal Statement?

If you’re writing an essay for a class, you know that different essays often require different types of hooks. For instance, depending on the type of essay, you might begin the introduction by using a quote, an anecdote, or statistic to interest your reader.

Starting your personal statement is the same in that you’ll need to choose the right kind of hook for your statement.

Below are two hooks you might consider.

Open with an anecdote

By starting with a story or personal example, you can frame the essay to help shape your discussion.

This type of opening works well for personal statements that describe a lesson you’ve learned, for personal statements that discuss adversity or challenges you have overcome, or for personal statements that use humor.

Here are the opening lines from a sample personal statement:

“I stand at a mere 4’ 11”. Though small, I am mightier than many 6’0” men. This strength is not the result of physical exercise; rather, it is the product of a physically disabling medical condition that I have had to overcome throughout my life. With this medical condition I never thought I would make it to college; now here I am, 21 years old and applying to law school.”

This opening hooks readers because they want to know not only about the medical condition and adversity that this writer has conquered but also how this connects to law school and becoming a successful lawyer.

Set the stage

By starting in the middle of the story (often by opening your statement with dialogue), you’re able to put readers in the middle of the action. They’re already involved in the scene and want to learn more about the story.

Here are the opening lines from another personal statement in our examples library:

“Close your mouth, Tiffany,” my older brother would say to me. “I can’t, my nose is stuffy,” I replied back. As long as I can remember I have always suffered from chronic stuffiness whether it was during the summer or winter, I just never had the ability to breathe out of my nose with full capacity. My stuffy nose ignited my curiosity about how the human body functioned and I would often sift through hundreds of pages of my mom’s Harvard and Mayo clinic books to try and diagnose why I was always congested or other ailments I may have suffered from and try and diagnose myself.

This opening hooks readers because they want to know how the story ends. They’re already invested in the story and want to know why the writer was always stuffy and why this fact is important to her future education and career goals.

What Should You Avoid in a Personal Statement?

Just as there are strategies that make your readers eager to continue reading, some strategies are a definite yawn and will put the average reader to sleep.

Below are two things to avoid when starting your personal statement.

Avoid clichés

Definitely avoid clichés. Clichés are tired expressions that we’ve heard a gazillion times. They’re so common that they’ve lost their punch.

For instance, if you’re writing a personal statement about overcoming adversity, don’t start with “what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.” Or if you’re writing about how you’ve drawn strength from your family, don’t lead with “blood is thicker than water.”

Readers have heard these phrases far too many times, and if they feel your opening is less than original, they’re more likely to think that your entire personal statement is the same.

Avoid rephrasing the prompt as your opening line

When you were younger, you were taught to answer questions by including the wording of the original question in your reply. For instance, if the question was, “What are the three colors on the American flag?” you would write, “The three colors on the American flag are red, white, and blue.”

While this strategy is excellent for basic short-answer questions, it should definitely not be used when writing the opening of your personal statement.

In other words, if the prompt asks, “Why do you want to attend this college?” don’t open with, “I want to attend this college because…”

These types of openings lack originality. They make your personal statement sound like you’re writing a fourth-grade science report.

How to Get Additional Help Writing a Personal Statement

If you’re in need of more help, don’t panic.

Take a look at these additional blog posts chock full of expert advice:

• How to Write a Personal Statement That Makes a Statement
• 4 Must-Answer Questions Before Brainstorming Personal Statement Topics
• 10 Types of College Essay Prompts—And How to Crush Them
• How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas That Stand Out
• 11 Secrets to Good College Essays

Want to read more examples to see how you might start your personal statement? Check out these examples from our essay library.

Not quite sure whether your current personal statement stands out or falls flat? Kibin has been editing personal statements since 2011, and our team is here 24/7 to give you personal advice on yours.

You want your profile to stand out among potential dates, so you carefully select your best staged candid shots and choose your words carefully to describe your scintillating personality and dynamic sense of humor.

You’re well aware that how you construct your profile determines whether someone swipes right or swipes left.

Writing a college admission essay is kinda like creating a dating profile.

You need to carefully choose your essay topic, one that showcases your amazing self.

After all, the college admission essay could make all the difference in whether essay readers swipe right or swipe left to decide whether you’re in or out.

So let’s get those admission officers to swipe right and move you that much closer to being admitted to the college of your choice.

Keep reading to learn how to come up with college essay ideas that will make your essay stand out.

What Is a College Essay?

A college admission essay is part narrative essay and part reflective essay.

In a college essay, you need to tell a story (as you would in a narrative essay), and you need to reflect on your experiences (as you would in a reflective essay).

A college essay, however, is slightly different than those essay types because you need to keep two key points in mind:

1. Purpose. The purpose of a college essay is to showcase yourself as a mature, hardworking, responsible, and involved individual. The purpose of the essay is to help you get into a college. Thus, an essay that reflects on why it wasn’t the best idea to binge-watch your favorite series all night instead of studying for your chemistry exam isn’t the best topic choice for this essay.

2. Audience. College admission officers (and possibly college faculty) will be reading your essay. Your audience is made up of professionals who are looking for professionalism in your essay, so things like academic voice and proper grammar and punctuation really do matter (perhaps even more so than in essays written for a class).

Looking for the finer points of what goes into a college essay? Read these posts:

• Personal Statement Advice: Here’s What the Admissions Experts Have to Say
• 10 Common Types of College Essay Prompts—and How to Crush Them
• How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way
• 11 Secrets to Good College Essays

How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas That Stand Out

Remember, your audience reads volumes worth of college essays every year, so you don’t want to write a bland essay about a boring topic. You want your essay to stand out. You want it to showcase your individuality and convince readers that you belong at the college.

One of the best ways to come up with a college essay idea is to spend lots of time brainstorming ideas until you finally find one that works for you.

Keep in mind that this brainstorming activity isn’t one that you can complete in five minutes. You’ll need at least a day or two to contemplate ideas and form your thoughts.

With that in mind, let’s come up with a topic idea that stands out.

To find the perfect topic for your essay, read through the list below, and jot down potential ideas.

College essay ideas about characters, animals, and people in your life

Celebrities and fictional characters

• Did you idolize a celebrity or fictional character in your childhood? Have you tried to model your life after her/him at any point in your life?
• Did you try to learn from her/him and avoid mistakes she/he has made?
• How have the actions or words of a celebrity or fictional character shaped some aspect of your personality?

Animals

• Did you have a pet as child? What did you learn from your pet?
• Did owning a pet alter your relationships with other people?
• Would you consider your pet your best friend? Why might you consider an animal a better friend than a person?
• Has your service animal or emotional support animal changed your life?

Family

• Think about your mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. How has one of your family members influenced you?
• Did she/he teach you a specific valuable lesson or shape your character in some way?
• Did she/he teach you important life skills?
• Do you wish you wouldn’t have listened to someone’s advice?
• Did you inherit your wicked sense of humor, empathetic nature, or love of music from a family member?
• Have you tried to learn from the mistakes of your family members so that you won’t make the same mistakes or follow the same path?
• What one piece of advice would you like to give your younger self?

Friends, significant others, teachers, and mentors

• Did a friend help you through a difficult time or offer words of wisdom that you’ll never forget?
• Did your so-called friend try to lead you in the wrong direction? How did you handle the situation?
• Has a significant other helped you see the world from a new perspective?
• Do you wish you had never met or dated a significant other? What did you learn from a negative dating experience?
• Did a teacher encourage or challenge you in unexpected ways?
• Did you have a mentor (such as a clergy member, Big Brother/Big Sister, or other mentor) who changed your attitude or changed your outlook on life?

What is one thing you wish one of these people knew about you? How does this aspect shape you and your perspectives, beliefs, and relationships with others?

College essay ideas about important experiences and moments in your life

Work and volunteer experiences

• What’s the most important lesson you learned at your first job?
• What one mistake did you make at a job that you’re happy you made?
• How did volunteering change your relationship with others or with the community?
• Do any of the people at work or at the places where you volunteer motivate or inspire you? What about in a previous job?
• How has your current job prepared you for a career in your chosen field?

Emotional moments

• What was the scariest, happiest, saddest, funniest, most embarrassing, or loneliest moment of your life?
• How did this moment shape you?
• What did you learn from this moment? Was it all positive, all negative, or both positive and negative?
• How did you handle the situation, or how did you cope with the outcome?

Decision-making moments

• Have you made spur-of-the-moment decisions that have impacted your life (either positively or negatively)?
• Have you made reasoned, well thought-out decisions? What was the outcome?
• Do you regret any important decisions you’ve made?
• Have you made seemingly insignificant decisions that made a big impact in your life?

Would you want to relive any of these moments? Would you like to relive them more than once? If you could change them, would you?

College essay ideas about the possessions in your life

Memories and mementos

• Do you have one or more treasured possessions that help ground you or remind you of someone, some thing, or a special event?
• Do you have any family heirlooms that speak to your family history?
• Did you collect any souvenirs or mementos from an event or vacation that are important to you in some way?
• Have you saved a letter written by a loved one? What meaning does the letter hold?
• Do you have a special family photo (old or new) that you treasure? What does the picture mean to you?

Personality and character

• How do your clothing choices, hair style, or jewelry display your personality?
• Do any of these objects have a deeper connection to your culture or heritage?
• Do you have any tattoos that reflect a personal memory or that are dedicated to someone?

Why are these objects so important to you? How can an object influence who you are and who you become?

Turn Your Ideas Into a College Essay

Now that you’ve read through the list above and have a handful of potential ideas for your college essay, begin brainstorming the stories you could tell.

You might realize that what sounded like a great idea quickly falls flat, and you have very little to say about the topic. That’s okay. Set it aside, and work through the remaining ideas on your list.

When you reach the topic that you feel you could write pages and pages about, you know you’re moving in the right direction. When you reach the topic that moves you and realize it’s a story that only you can tell, you know you’ve found the perfect idea for your college essay.

Remember: You’re not just telling a story about someone or about what happened.

The goal is to reflect on what you’ve learned and how the person, object, or event shaped you. Don’t try to embellish or make up a story that you think sounds good. Be honest, thoughtful, and genuine in your reflection. Your sincerity will be evident in your writing, and you’ll end up with a more powerful essay.

Additional resources

Looking for a few additional tips? Use these resources to help shape your ideas into a college essay:

• Use This Reflective Essay Outline to Get Your Paper Started
• What Is a Hook Sentence? (Infographic)
• Concise Writing: How to Writer a Strong Essay With Fewer Words
• Why Eliminating Wordiness Is So Important for Your Essay
• How to Revise an Essay and Make It Better Than Ever

Looking for additional writing inspiration? Take a look at these example college essays:

• My Desire to Specialize in Family Medicine
• Being Determined to Take My Leadership Skills Further
• The Lessons I’ve Learned From Getting Stuck in a Closet
• Sophomore Year as the Lowest Point of My Life

Can’t come up with any more ideas? Feeling like your essay is falling short of the amazing essay you know it could be? We’ve been editing college essays since 2011—let a Kibin editor help.

At one time or another, someone has probably asked you this snarky question to call you out on something.

But when it comes to college admissions essays, it’s a downright serious question. The people reading essays really do want to know what makes you special. They want to know what makes you unique. They want to know what makes you, well, you.

How can you highlight your accomplishments, your personality, or your goals with a set of high school transcripts and one short essay?

By absolutely crushing your college essay.

10 Common Types of College Essay Prompts

Let’s say you’re a great athlete or a math genius. Perhaps you can sing like an angel. Maybe you’re the valedictorian of your high school class.

While all of these things certainly carry some bragging rights, guess what? Lots of other college applicants can claim the same bragging rights.

So how can you stand out among the masses? Crushing your admission essay can make all the difference, so keep reading to learn what you should and shouldn’t do when answering these common college essay prompts.

Prompt #1: Describe a time you overcame a challenge or experienced failure

The challenge you write about might revolve around your home life, such as a struggle within yourself, your family, or dangers and challenges in your environment.

You could also write about challenges you face because of a disability, because you’re a minority, or because of some other circumstance in your life.

No matter what angle you take with this topic, keep in mind that, even though you’re writing about challenges and failures, you don’t want to focus solely on the fact that you struggled.

Instead, examine the positive outcomes. Consider how the experience changed you and what you learned from the experience.

Read an example of how one student wrote about overcoming obstacles.

Prompt #2: Describe a time when you changed your personal beliefs or values

The key to crushing this (and most every) essay prompt is to be specific.

Don’t brag about the fact you became a vegetarian and are saving the planet with your life choices. Instead, write about a specific event that made you change your eating habits. For instance, did the time you spent working on a farm or at a fast-food restaurant make you want to become a vegetarian? Did you become vegetarian for spiritual reasons?

Explain the event, and explain how the experience changed you and made you the person you are today.

See how one student’s perspective on adoption changed after the student’s family hosted a child from Ukraine.

Prompt #3: Explain what you hope to accomplish in college

Every student who enrolls in college hopes to earn good grades and an eventual degree. This is certainly an accomplishment, but it’s not the type of accomplishment that your audience wants to read about in this essay.

Admissions officers want to know what you wish to do beyond academics.

This is where you might need to do a little homework. Learn about the organizations and clubs on campus. Perhaps you want to be not only a member but also a leader. Perhaps you have goals on how to improve the program. Or maybe you see a need for something new (on or off campus) and want to develop your own organization.

If you do decide to focus on strictly personal goals, dig deeper than “get good grades.” Need inspiration? Check out this example essay about a student’s goals for personal growth.

Prompt #4: Explain why you want to attend this college or university

This is a pretty common question, so in order to stand out when answering this prompt, you’ll need to think of something more original than “because the physical therapy program is one of the best in the state.”

It’s fine to mention a great program or degree at the institution, but if you do, make sure you discuss a unique and specific aspect of the program. For example, has the program or faculty won awards? Is the faculty comprised of renowned scholars? In other words, highlight the distinctive features of the program.

Don’t forget, though, that this essay isn’t about the school. It’s about you.

The goal is to explain why you belong there. Why would you thrive in such an environment? Why is the school a perfect fit for both your personality and your career goals?

Read why one student believes her chosen college is the perfect fit.

Prompt #5: Describe a major accomplishment

Your college admissions essay isn’t the time to try to be funny by answering this prompt with the story about how you finally managed to get 1,000 likes on a clever vacation pic or how you ate an extra-large party pizza in one sitting.

Think about more serious and influential accomplishments, such as overcoming a learning disability or being the youngest person to ever open your own art show at a local gallery.

In this admissions essay example, a student describes overcoming social anxiety and the impact it had on his life and future goals.

Prompt #6: Describe an event that sparked personal growth

We’ve all had those aha moments where we suddenly have a realization that sparked a change in us. Keep in mind that these moments may occur out of either a positive or negative situation, but it’s the growth that happens afterward that is meaningful in this context.

Let’s say you failed your biology exam (a definite negative). But perhaps failing this one exam made you realize that you really do love all things science, and you want to make it your life’s work. This one negative experience caused you to evaluate your study habits and educational goals.

Maybe you even turned that one experience into more than great grades in your classes. Maybe once you pulled up your grades, you started tutoring others to help them realize they could do the same.

Remember, personal growth doesn’t have to begin with a large, earth-shattering event. It might very well be a small, seemingly minor event that makes a big impact.

Prompt #7: Describe a person you admire

Parents, grandparents, and teachers are pretty obvious choices for this college essay prompt, but don’t always look at the obvious. Your essay will be much more interesting and original if you actually write about someone else. (Of course, it’s still fine to admire your mom and dad, but don’t think they’re the only possibilities for subjects.)

Who else can you write about besides Mom and Dad?

Perhaps you admire your best friend who has overcome extraordinary obstacles, and watching him or her overcome those struggles has taught you so much about yourself and how you handle life. Maybe you admire someone famous, like Stephen Hawking or Maya Angelou, and the person’s life has inspired your own.

No matter who you admire, don’t forget to keep the focus on you. Don’t simply tell another person’s story. Explain how the person has impacted you or made you a better person.

Prompt #8: Describe what makes you unique

We are all unique and special—that’s what our mothers always told us, right?

So here’s your chance to prove Mom right and show the world how great you are. This isn’t, however, a chance to simply brag about yourself.

Your goal here is to present an insightful and thoughtful discussion of a unique aspect of your character.

While you may be unique because you won a ton of academic awards and scholarships, keep in mind that your academic achievements are already on display in your transcripts and other application materials. Don’t repeat the information by writing about it in your college admissions essay.

Instead, you might choose a point related to your academic goals and achievements but one that is a bit outside the standard classroom experience. For instance, if your ultimate goal is to become a veterinarian, you might write about how you consider yourself a cat or a dog whisperer and how this will help you become a better vet.

Whatever unique part of yourself you choose as the focus, make sure that it expresses your true self and is something that readers wouldn’t know about you by reading the rest of your college application materials.

Check out this example of how a student defines herself through her devotion to helping others.

Prompt #9: Explain what commitment means to you

To most people, commitment means working hard and being dedicated enough to work until a project is complete.

Commitment might also mean giving back to society or improving society (through volunteering with organizations or starting your own organization).

What are you committed to? Consider what is important to you and how you demonstrate this commitment.

It’s okay to feel like you fall short. The college admissions essay isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being honest. So if you don’t think you’re active enough in the “big things” (like changing the world or saving the environment) and you think you could improve, you might use this to discuss how you’re working to improve.

You could also use this opportunity to discuss your future plans for commitment by explaining your goals (or the importance of setting goals) and what you hope to achieve in life.

Prompt #10: Choose your own essay topic

Choosing your own topic can be both a blessing and a curse. Because you can basically choose just about any topic you like, it can be more difficult to select a topic that you think would showcase you, your ideas, your goals, or your achievements in some way.

If you have the chance to choose your own topic, avoid telling sports stories about the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat (unless, of course, you have a unique twist on the topic).

You should also avoid broad summaries of your volunteer experiences or your internships. These types of essays can sound like a report and read like a “what I did on my summer vacation” essay—and they won’t stand out. If you want to write about one of these events, choose a small aspect of the experience to highlight.

If you’re looking for a few ideas for this broad, “choose your own” category, consider writing about one of these topics:

• A problem you’d like to solve. This might be a larger societal problem or a problem specific to your community.

• What you learned from an embarrassing moment. Remember, you want the story to be positive, so don’t dwell on the negatives of the embarrassment (though you’ll likely want to mention those feelings too). The focus should be the positive outcome of the situation and what you learned.

• The best (or worst) advice you ever received.

• A quote that explains something about you or that inspires you. When choosing a quote, look for something original. For instance, Dr. Seuss is quoted a lot, but if you absolutely must quote him, don’t take a line from Oh the Places You’ll Go. Instead, choose a quote from a lesser known Seuss book like The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins.

If you’re still stuck for ideas, read these posts:

• 4 Must-Answer Questions Before Brainstorming Personal Statement Topics
• How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas that Stand Out

You could also give brainstorming or another prewriting strategy a try and see what you come up with.

Final Thoughts on College Essay Prompts

As you’re sorting out your thoughts about your college essay prompts, keep in mind that readers want to see honesty. Don’t tell a grand tale that is certainly too good to be true. Remember, admissions officers read a lot of essays each year, so they can tell when you’re being authentic.

Want more insight on what your college app essays should and shouldn’t do? Read 11 Secrets to Good College Essays and How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way (the same advice applies to ALL your essay prompts).

And if you’d like to check out a few more example college essays before you start your own, take a look at these admission essay examples.

Think you’ve crushed your college essay but want to make sure everything looks and sounds perfect? Here are some additional resources to help you polish your essay:

• 5 Punctuation Rules You Need to Know
• Concise Writing: How to Write a Strong Essay With Fewer Words
• How to Improve Sentence Variety in Your Essays (and Why You Should Care)

Interested in a professional opinion? Send your college essay to Kibin. We’ve edited admissions essays and personal statements for thousands of students since 2011, and we’re here to help 24/7!

But as those admissions deadlines approach, you still have one thing left–the dreaded personal statement.

Sure, you’re just one hopeful student in a big sea of college applicants, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stand out. And this post will show you how it’s done.

So without further ado, let’s tackle how to write a personal statement the right way.

In this post, I’ll walk you through just what a personal statement is, how to write one from A to Z, and some examples that can inspire you to get started.

What Exactly Is a Personal Statement?

Think of a personal statement, sometimes referred to as a statement of purpose or personal essay, as your chance to show college admissions officers why you’re a great fit for the school and perhaps even the program to which you’re applying.

It’s not unlike a cover letter you’d submit with a job application.

A personal statement also allows you to show admissions officers that you’re more than just grades and test scores.

A personal statement allows you show that you’re more than just grades and test scores.
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It’s an opportunity for admissions officers to see who you are as a person, what you can bring to the campus community, and how your experiences have led you to choose their school.

Often, when you sit down to write a personal statement, you’ll spend about one to three pages answering a question or prompt. Check out this blog post to see some some examples of what you can expect when this is the case.

Pre-work

Your personal statement will turn out much better if you follow these important steps before typing away at the keyboard. If you need to brush up on the essay writing process in general, this post can also help you out.

Careful review

Get out a notebook or open up your laptop, and get ready to take some notes or create some outlines. This will ensure that your materials stay organized. You’re probably not going to be writing just one personal statement to send to all of your prospective schools.

You read that correctly–there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to writing personal statements. Admissions offices tend to have different guidelines or items they’re looking for in their instructions or prompts.

While you can probably reuse some of the main points in each of your personal statements, you’ll want to make sure that whatever you’re writing adequately answers the prompts given.

The most effective way to go about this is to carefully read the instructions on the statement of purpose submission form and make sure you clearly understand what’s being asked of you.

• What specific questions does the form ask?
• What situations or times in your life do the admissions officers want to know about?

Once you understand these guidelines, write them down in your notes or outline. Also take notes about what situations will apply to the questions/prompts and what you could leave out.

Web sleuthing

You’ve no doubt looked up information about certain topics and people online or in your favorite social media apps. It’s time to put those internet search skills to good use!

Each school you’re applying to has a website, which you’ve probably already used to start your application. A quick Google search can help you find each school’s mission statement.

One of your goals in a personal statement is to show admissions officers that your values and objectives make you a good fit for their community.

Check out this example of a mission statement page from The Ohio State University. Note some of the key buzzwords on this page:

• Knowledge
• Excellence
• Leaders
• Diversity
• Inclusion
• Access
• Innovation
• Collaboration
• Multidisciplinary

These values are what this university is looking for in its students. If you were applying here, you would cater your personal statement to show how you–as an individual and as a student–have and will uphold these values.

Because the mission statement of each school on your list will vary in values and goals, you’ll want to make sure that your personal statements shift focus to show that you represent the relevant items for each respective school.

What should you write about?

Questions/prompts on personal statement forms will give you a good idea of what to specifically focus on in your writing. But it’s also a good idea to brainstorm about what you have in your personal statement toolbox.

Alternately, some personal statement forms may not have any specific prompts or questions, which gives you the freedom to tell your story however you want. But that may leave you wondering where to start.

In either case, start making a list of the following, and you’ll have plenty of material to work with when you sit down to write the personal statement.

• Awards or honors from your current or past schools
• Job promotions or special responsibilities
• Organizations you may belong to (clubs, church groups, etc.)
• Any volunteer experience you may have
• Any events or workshops where you attended or presented material
• Your specific goals
• Your top values
• Any challenges you may have faced and overcame

Can I get a demo?

Before we dive into the structure of your personal statement, it’s a good idea to see what one looks like. This site has quite a few helpful examples of personal statements and even explains why they are successful. You can also check out a few annotated examples here.

With that out of the way, now we’re ready to dive into the how of how to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement: The A to Z of Structure

When you think about how to write a personal statement, consider it as being a small structured essay that tells a little story about you. It won’t be unlike the five-paragraph essay format that you may already be used to writing.

Admissions officers also want to determine how strong your writing skills are, including how well you can start with a main idea and see it through to a meaningful end.

So like any essay, your personal statement should have an introduction that hooks the reader, a thesis, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion that ties everything together. Let’s break these down in order.

Introduction

The introduction is probably the most important part of the personal statement. This is where you will try to hook your readers’ attention so that they’re ready to go along for the ride and read the rest of your statement.

To do this, focus on writing an honest and concrete sentence that shows off your personality. Start with the story that is unique to you.

Sometimes this can be difficult because not everyone’s life is very dramatic. But don’t let that discourage you. Even your night shifts at a fast food restaurant can be good fodder for why you want to get into a school or specific program.

Avoid vague language and clichés. Being specific to your experience is important here.

Bad opening sentence:

This summer was when everything changed, and I knew what I wanted to do.

Better opening sentence:

As a Cleveland Aquarium volunteer, I was responsible for an injured octopus’s feeding schedule, an experience that triggered my interest in marine biology.

The second sentence is better because it focuses on a specific scenario that gives a clear reason that the writer wants to pursue a specific goal. The first sentence is vague and could have been written by anyone. Being specific is key!

In the next couple of sentences, go into further detail and provide some context around the situation you’re describing.

Now is the time to craft your thesis. It will be the main point of your personal statement, and everything else you write will work to support it.

Body paragraphs

Because personal statements only allow for one to three pages of writing, you’ll want to focus only on one or two topics in your body paragraphs. And they should be absolutely relevant to the ideas in your intro.

Whether you’re writing a general personal statement or answering a prompt, make sure you don’t lose focus. You don’t need to tell your life story, and you don’t want to appear as though you’re rambling without purpose.

Start with the ideas in your intro and move forward.

• What effect did that formative experience have on you?
• What about your background, personality, and ambitions make you want to attend an institution of higher learning?
• What goals do you have for yourself?

As you write, these are the items you’ll want to focus on. And you’ll want to make sure they all tie into the thesis or main idea. You want admissions officers to see how your experience has led you to their particular school.

Conclusion

Now that you’ve made it this far, don’t let your writing come to an abrupt stop! It’s time to finish the personal statement with a conclusion paragraph.

A straightforward way to bring all of the ideas from your intro and body paragraphs together is to have them work toward why you want to attend the particular school.

In this section of your personal statement, summarize your overall experience and traits while saying how and why they have led you to the school to which you’re applying.

• What does the school (or program) have in common with your goals and values?
• What will you aspire to be as a student there?

Now that you know how to write a personal statement, it’s also important to know what you can (and should) leave out.

What You Can Leave Out

Now that you know all the great things you should put into a personal statement, you may be wondering what you should avoid. These items tend to hurt personal statements in the eyes of admissions officers.

Repeating information from your application materials

Now is not the time to talk at length about your grades and course history. This is your opportunity to show admissions who you really are.

Opinions about religion or politics

These items are not totally off-limits if they relate to your story in a productive way. But strong opinions about either may offend the reader–you don’t know who will be reviewing your writing.

A grab for sympathy

Writing about a difficult experience, how you personally dealt with it, and the lesson it taught you is perfectly fine! However, don’t write in a way that asks for readers to feel sorry for you. Chances are, they will not.

Humor

As much as we all like a good joke, leave out the funny stuff. If the admissions officers suspect you’re not taking your personal statement seriously, then neither will they.

Praise

Don’t tell the admissions officers how great the school is–they probably already believe this about the school. You’ll just be wasting precious space in which you could be telling them more about you and what makes you great for the school.

Fancy fonts and funky formats

Admissions officers may be instructed to just throw out applications that don’t follow the rules, so don’t chance it! Be sure to read the formatting instructions on each application form, and set your font style and size to match.

Before You Submit…

Still think you need to see some examples of personal statements before getting started? Check out Kibin’s essay database!

Make sure you get an early start on this process so that you’ll have plenty of time to turn in a well-thought-out, well-written, and polished personal statement. This definitely includes proofreading and revision because strong writing always stands out.

And when it comes to editing, you have a few options:

• Review what you’ve written (always!) to make sure that the information is accurate, clear, and void of errors.
• Have a friend read over your work and listen to you read it aloud.
• Take advantage of a service or guidance counselor (if your school has one) who can give you extra advice.

And as always, the pros at Kibin are here for you 24/7 to help that personal statement go above and beyond. They can help you make sure that, when your application is next in line, it will truly stand out above the rest!

Though writing a personal statement generally has nothing to do with how you dress (unless, perhaps, you work in the fashion industry), it does have something in common with appearances.

What you wear can say a lot about your style and maybe even your personality. A personal statement says a lot about who you are as a student, who you are as a person, and who you hope to become as a professional working in your chosen field.

Not sure how that translates into an actual written document? Check out these two personal statement examples that will inspire you.

A Review of Personal Statements

A personal statement is generally an essay (usually a page or two long) that you’ll write as part your college admissions process or as part of a job application process.

A personal statement is your chance to shine. It’s your chance to demonstrate to the committee that you’re a perfect fit for the college or for the job.

A personal statement is your chance to shine. To show you’re a perfect fit.
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Remember that even though personal statements are usually required for general college admissions, you might also write a personal statement as a college student if you’re applying for a specific program, such as a nursing or teaching program.

You may even be asked to write a personal statement in the form of a teaching philosophy statement if you’re in the education program or if you’re applying for a teaching position.

If you’d like a little more information about personal statements, take a look at these posts from our blog:

• Personal Statement Advice: Here’s What the Admissions Experts Have to Say
• 4 Must-Answer Questions Before Brainstorming Personal Statement Topics
• Personal Statement Topics: A Step-by-Step Tutorial to Finding Yours!

If you’d like even more information, I suggest reading Tips on Writing Personal Statements.

Now that you’ve had a chance to refresh your memory on the finer points of personal statements, let’s take a look at two personal statement examples.

2 Personal Statement Examples That Make a Strong Statement

The examples below illustrate two slightly different types of personal statements.

The first is a standard personal statement with the goal of college admission. The second is also a personal statement but is specific to education. Thus, it explains the writer’s teaching philosophy. This personal statement was written as part of a job application.

In each example, I’ve noted strengths of the personal statement and highlighted places where the writer might improve the statement.

For both personal statement examples, my commentary is below each paragraph. When you see a number in brackets at the end of the paragraph(s) *[#], my comments apply to the preceding paragraph(s) as a whole.

Personal Statement #1: Why Georgetown University?

I’ve always envisioned myself as becoming the type of physician that is an integral part of the community I live in. I believe the role of a physician extends beyond simply being a medical practitioner for a patient. Becoming a physician is a privilege that would place me in a position to be a pillar to my community. I know that Georgetown University understands this notion, from its focus on cura personalis, to its principles of community service. Georgetown offers many tools that would allow me to shape myself into the type of physician I aim to become. *[1]

Susan says:

*[1] The writer opens the personal statement with a first-person description of his goals as a future physician and what he believes is the role of a physician.

This is an excellent strategy. It clearly outlines the focus of the statement: to describe his future plans as a physician.

The last sentence also makes a clear connection between the writer’s personal beliefs and how they align with the school’s mission.

Georgetown University’s premise of cura personalis, an idea that aims to heal both physically and psychosocially intrigues me. I know that the underlying principles of cura personalis were designed to respect each individual human being, especially those who are the most disenfranchised in our society. This concern for the most vulnerable members of society draws me to Georgetown. Georgetown acknowledges the existence of the working class and underserved individuals in our society; as well as those who feel they aren’t receiving the proper representation. *[2]

Susan says:

*[2] Building off the end of the previous paragraph, the writer also makes a clear connection in this paragraph to his personal beliefs and how they align with the university’s mission and academic programs.

This is another great strategy because it demonstrates the fact that the writer’s goals are a perfect match with the goals of the university.

I began volunteering at a Kingsbrook Jewish Medical Center, an acute care facility in Brooklyn, as a patient advocate and navigator. As an advocate I gave a voice to patients who came from my own community. When I performed follow up surveys I was delighted to hear them speak positively about their hospital visits, which for many people can be a painstaking task. I aim to deepen my commitment to my community and work to empower its members that feel powerless. Much like the premise of cura personalis I believe that a community needs to be cared for on multiple levels, healthcare being only one such level. *[3]

Susan says:

*[3] An important aspect of convincing a college that you should be admitted is to illustrate your past achievements and explain how they align with your future goals.

In this paragraph, the writer does just that. He explains his past experience in the medical field and how it will inform his future work as a physician.

My decision to pursue medicine is a fairly recent one. When compared to some of my cohorts that will be applying to Georgetown University, I am likely to have less clinical experience . I’m excited to take advantage of two opportunities for clinical experience offered at Georgetown that would be invaluable. *[4]

Susan says:

*[4] Remember, being honest and sincere is important in a personal statement. Readers want to learn about both your strengths and possible shortcomings.

Here, the writer is honest, indicating that his experience is limited but that he’s eager to continue his education and take advantage of the programs at Georgetown.

Georgetown’s emphasis on an early introduction to patient care and clinical training which, I have heard, can begin as early as the first semester is the first clinical opportunity that I’m drawn to. It excites me to think that I can begin clinical training that early. After submitting my AMCAS I’ve begun to shadow Dr. Latif, a hematologist/oncologist, at Kingsbrook Medical Center. Sitting in with Dr. Latif and her residents during clinicals has become the high point of my week. Watching Dr. Latif as she engages patients, uses her knowledge, and puts patients at ease is inspiring. In order to instill the same level of comfort and show the same attention to detail I know I have to increase my clinical training at the first opportunity I get. *[5]

Much like New York City, Washington D.C. is a city with a large degree of diversity. I am interested in working with diverse patient populations, as well as giving back to the community I live in. Georgetown’s HOYA Volunteer Clinic is another opportunity for students to do both of those things. It is my hope to be able to be a part of D.C.’s volunteer clinic by serving D.C.’s medically underserved patient population. The HOYA clinic would allow me to expand upon the clinical experience I started through volunteering at Kingsbrook, a small urban hospital in Brooklyn. *[6]

Susan says:

*[5], *[6] The writer uses these two paragraphs to highlight the programs he believes will be helpful to him in his studies. Notice that the writer clearly describes the programs and how they fit with his goals.

This description of the programs is another excellent strategy. The admissions representatives will expect you to have some knowledge of the school and its programs if you’re applying for admission.

It would give me a great deal of pleasure to extend the principles of cura personalis on a global level by helping the global community. Again, Georgetown acknowledges that better healthcare options are essential to all people, not just those in the United States. The elective international medicine programs offered at Georgetown grabbed my attention. As someone who relocated to the United States at an early age, I have an appreciation for those that recognize the existence of the developing world. I’ve long been interested in other cultures and languages to the point where I’ve devoted a good deal of  time to learning the Spanish language to help me better communicate with coworkers and community members in my first job at a popular fast food restaurant. Those I communicated with deeply appreciated my effort in making it easier for us to understand each other. Since then, I’ve also made attempts at self teaching the Japanese language. I know that interacting with a wide range of people, and immersions in the culture of others is a necessity in today’s multi-cultural society. Only through communication, and exposure to those unlike myself can I continue to be open minded. *[7]

Susan says:

*[7] Here, the writer focuses on life outside of the university and how he has worked with a variety of cultures. This demonstrates both his willingness to work in the community and his excitement for his future profession.

Keep in mind that admissions representatives will want to see you not just as a potential student but also as a well-rounded individual. Therefore, it’s a smart idea to include information about your volunteer efforts and community involvement.

The last reason for choosing Georgetown pertains to its location in our nation’s capital; a city that is as vibrant and diverse as New York City. To experience another cosmopolitan city would only increase my versatility as a physician through my exposure to a wide array of people and conditions. It is my hope that the transition from New York to D.C. will be a smooth one because of the similarities of both locations. *[8]

Susan says:

*[8] Though the location of the school may be crucial to this student, this last paragraph is out of place. It’s important to end strong and leave readers with a good impression. This paragraph falls flat.

The writer could have deleted this paragraph or revised to include the information in another part of the statement.

Personal Statement #2: My Teaching Philosophy

Teachers play a pivotal role in the learning experience of students. An effective communication between the students and the teacher is made when students with different levels of background knowledge and career goals find a common interest in the subject being taught as well as in the method of teaching being applied. As a student I was very fortunate to have a group of teachers who showed me the connection between the real world and the science taught in the classroom. As a teacher, my philosophy is to share that gift with my students that will not only facilitate knowledge acquisition and improve technical competence but also cultivate critical thinking ability and problem solving skills in their professional life.*[1]

Susan says:

*[1] The writer opens his personal statement with a clear, focused statement that links his past learning to his current goals as a teacher.

The goal of this type of personal statement (a teaching philosophy) is to explain one’s personal beliefs and goals as a teacher.

This opening does just that. It clearly demonstrates the aspects of teaching that he deems most important.

My philosophy is to ensure that my students are able to retain the essence of my teaching and would apply it during their professional career. To achieve this goal it is important to develop a sense of appreciation for classroom teaching of basic and applied biological sciences among the students and to explain how this knowledge would help them to perform better in professional career. I frequently use case studies and simulated clinical setups to demonstrate the bridge between textbook knowledge and real life challenges. I also incorporate active learning elements, such as brainstorming, creative thinking, organized group activities and role-playing to facilitate cooperative learning as well as to keep students actively engaged in my class. I often arrange my quiz sessions in a group activity where two to three students can discuss their answers or ideas before sharing it with the entire class. These types of exercises keep students interactive and reduce their apprehension for being called upon individually, and thereby increase the level of participation. *[2]

Susan says:

*[2] This paragraph outlines the types of real-world examples he uses in his classroom to help students make connections and develop critical thinking skills.

Including specific examples allows the interviewers to see exactly what his classes are like and how they are part of his teaching philosophy.

Adopting a multi-component teaching technique in every levels of the curriculum, from course design to feedback based continuous evaluation system enables me to understand my students more closely, care for their individual success and well-being and help every student to achieve their personal goals. I like to design the lectures and the laboratory sessions in a tightly integrated fashion, at most a few days apart, so that students can remember the concept at the time of applying it in the laboratory. This facilitates the learning process two ways; first, recently learned theoretical facts help them to grasp laboratory techniques relatively easily and second, hands on application helps them to understand the concept with better clarity. *[3]

Susan says:

*[3] This paragraph illustrates another technique this teacher uses to help students succeed: scheduling labs and lectures close together to help students retain information.

Again, this paragraph provides specific examples that help illustrate his teaching philosophy.

I understand that different institutions, departments and programs differ in their philosophy and value system and mostly driven by the needs of the respective student population. As I look forward to pursue my teaching career at the North Georgia College and State University, I am eager to learn from my colleagues who have vast teaching experience and are knowledgeable about the students in this particular institution. I am confident that with my sincere effort and personal attention to every student, I will become a part of the team providing quality education to our students and serving our community. *[4]

Susan says:

*[4] Note that the tone of this section becomes a bit humble. The writer acknowledges that, even though he’s an effective teacher, he’s eager to learn from colleagues who may have even more experience.

Remember to keep the tone of your own personal statement in check. You want to impress your audience without sounding like you’re so great that you’re almost too good for the school or for the job.

At the same time, though, you want to be project self-confidence and be persuasive.

Teaching Experiences

Earlier after my masters in pharmaceutical sciences and one year experience of senior research fellow at the prestigious National Institute of Pharmaceutical Education and research in the Natural Products department, I was appointed as lecturer in Pharmacy at Himalayan Pharmacy Institute, India. During my two and half year lecturer ship I have offered courses in Pharmacognosyor Natural Product Chemistry, and Analytical Chemistry for undergraduate Pharmacy students. Many students became interested in isolation and purification of bioactive molecules from plants and later they pursued higher studies. Several of the students always kept in touch with me even after I left Himalayan Pharmacy Institute and came to University of Nebraska Lincoln to pursue PhD degree. After joining University of Nebraska Lincoln in a PhD program in micro/molecular biology I was awarded Teaching Assistantship for five consecutive years. During this time I was Teaching Assistant for Freshman Biology, Freshman Microbiology, and traditional Microbiology Lab courses. In 2008 and 09 I was Head Teaching Assistant where my duties included mentoring other Teaching Assistants, preparing Laboratory examinations along with teaching. *[5]

Susan says:

*[5] Here, the writer lists his professional achievements. Take note that this is a list of achievements, not a paragraph in which you brag about how great you are.

While it’s fine to highlight your achievements, it’s not okay to try to be someone you’re not. In other words, be honest about what you have (or have not) done.

Don’t try to add information just to make yourself sound better (or just to make your statement longer).

Teaching Plans

During my PhD I have successfully completed graduate level courses on Industrial Microbiology and Biotechnology, Microbial Physiology, Fungal Genetics and Cell Biology, Microbial Diversity, Food Bourne Pathogens, Pathogenic Microbiology, Cell Biology and Genetics, Molecular Genetics, Bioinformatics, Immunology, Protein Structure and Functions. I have broad research expertise in the fields of Microbiology, Eukaryotic Cell Biology, Biochemistry, and Genetics that have prepared me perfectly to offer undergraduate level courses in these fields. I am also equally adept in offering graduate level courses involving basic Eukaryotic Biochemistry, Genetics, and Cellular Biology with a focus on Cancer along with Yeast and Fungal Genetics.*[6]

Susan says:

*[6] In this final section, the writer highlights the relevant courses he has completed, his research skills, and what courses he is qualified to teach.

This final paragraph works well to sum up his statement. It helps the interviewers see exactly how and why he would be a good fit for the school.

Using this type of ending is a smart idea because it leaves readers with some final thoughts on why you’re perfect for the school or the job.

Make a Statement

Remember, you’re trying to make a statement with your personal statement.

While the lessons learned from the personal statement examples above can help you write a stronger statement, readers only have the example you send to them as evidence of who you are and what you stand for. Thus, you need to make sure it’s a true representation.

Sometimes it can be difficult to read your own writing and truly be objective. It can be hard to tell if you’ve captured the essence of you in a page or two.

To help determine if you’ve made a good impression, read your statement through the eyes of your audience. What is it you think they’d like to know about you? (They’ve probably hinted—or even outright told you—about what they’d like to see in their written guidelines.)

Not sure you know if you’ve hit the mark? Send your personal statement our way, and a Kibin editor will be happy to provide expert feedback.