As I rode the bus to school, I was quite excited to show my classmates my new pet. The turtle was even more excited, apparently. As we pulled up to the school, it peed on my lap.

Moments later, as I shyly stood at the front of the class, my fellow six-year-olds were more interested in the wet spot on the front of my jeans than they were in my turtle.

“It was the turtle,” I told them to laughter. “Really! That’s why I’ve named him Leaky.”

However, no matter how much I told them, they remained unconvinced. Then, as if on cue, Leaky started peeing again.

“See!” I showed them excitedly. “It was Leaky!”

My audience was persuaded.

As I stood there, smiling from ear to ear, covered in turtle urine, paying no attention to my scowling teacher, I realized that although the event was called Show and Tell, there was a distinct difference between the two.

Years later, I thought of Leaky as I sat in my freshman composition class looking at a narrative essay that had just been returned to me. It was drenched in red ink. Scrawled in big block letters at the top of the page were the words “SHOW DON’T TELL!”

These infamous words have been uttered to every young writer at some point or another, yet putting them into practice is easier said than done.

So let’s learn how to show don’t tell in your narrative essay.

What Is a Narrative Essay?

A lot of digital ink has been spilled over the years here at the Kibin blog on the subject of narrative essays. So there are plenty of resources to check out if you’re not sure where to start. Moreover, there are hundreds of narrative essay examples in our database.

Today’s post will be less about how to write a narrative essay and more about how to improve your narrative essay.

A narrative essay is all about telling a story. The key is to pick a story that taught you a lesson and led to personal growth. Then, through the narration of your experience, you can attempt to pass along some of that knowledge to your reader.

You may have a funny story about your cat, but it won’t make for a good narrative essay if there’s no lesson to be learned.

On the other hand, a story about a box turtle with bladder control issues that taught you how to be a better writer has the makings of narrative essay gold.

Show Don’t Tell: Why Showing Is Better Than Telling

So let’s take another look at the story I wrote in the introduction. When I wrote it, I wasn’t really focusing on showing instead of telling, honestly.

I was mostly just trying to write a good hook that would relate to both narrative essays and the idea of show don’t tell.

However, if I were going to use that story in a narrative essay, I would want to do so in a way that was more compelling. And that’s really the importance of showing over telling.

I can tell you that I was excited for Show and Tell. Or I can show you that my heart rate increased, and my legs started bobbing up and down under the desk as I waited for my turn.

See the difference?

I still let the readers know that I was excited, but I did so in a way that allows them to visualize it in their minds.

Showing your readers what happened paints a picture that’s much more compelling than just telling them what happened.

So let’s take another look at my introduction story and see how I can do a better job of showing.

Ways to Show More and Tell Less

While you should try to show not tell when writing your first draft, it’s important that you take the time after writing it to examine how you can improve it further.

Writers often don’t realize they are telling as opposed to showing until they reread an early draft. It’s kind of like how you don’t realize how badly you’re singing until you record your voice and listen to it.

So it’s important to keep in mind the concept of show don’t tell during the writing process but especially during the revision process.

There are several ways you can do this. So let’s take a closer look at how we can improve my story from earlier.

Use dialogue

When I was a six-year-old kindergarten student, I decided (and my parents somehow permitted me) to take a box turtle I found in my backyard to school for show and tell.

One easy way to show your story is to use dialogue. There’s nothing wrong with the above sentence, but wouldn’t it be more engaging if the reader could experience that conversation with my mother?

When I was a six-year-old kindergarten student, I found a box turtle in my backyard. I scurried to the porch window, where I could see my mom cooking in the kitchen.

“Mom!” I yelled through the screen. “Can I bring this turtle to Show and Tell?”

“Sweetie,” my mom said over her shoulder as she juggled a boiling pot of water. “I can’t hear you.”

“Can I bring it for Show and Tell?” I yelled.

My mother, who with three boys had become immune to any crisis that didn’t involve blood, said, “Yeah, okay.”

And before she could turn to see what I was holding, I ran to find a shoebox.

Give lazy adjectives the boot

As I rode the bus to school, I was quite excited to show my classmates my new pet.

Adjectives are words used to describe a noun. In this case, “excited” describes how I felt on the way to school that day. But isn’t it a bit lazy to just say I was “excited”?

Instead of telling the reader with an adjective, show the reader with description.

As I rode the bus to school, my legs bounced up and down, and I squirmed in my seat, looking out the window every few moments to see how close we were getting to school. I had never noticed how long the ride was. I opened the box and looked at my new pet with a smile.

Come to your senses

The turtle was even more excited, apparently. As we pulled up to the school, it peed on my lap.

We use all five of our senses when we have a new experience. So why limit our writing to only a couple? If you want to paint a more vivid picture for your reader, try to use as many senses as possible.

The turtle’s little toenails made a scraping sound on the inside of the cardboard box as he waved his feet back and forth. He seemed as excited as I was. I took him out of the box and placed him on my lap. The sun reflected off his little yellow eyes, and I could feel the warmth on my lap. The warmth felt almost wet. As I lifted the turtle, a sour smell wafted into my nostrils as I saw the puddle he had left on my lap.

Avoid using too many adverbs

Moments later, as I shyly stood at the front of the class, my fellow six year olds were more interested in the wet spot on the front of my jeans than they were in my turtle.

Adverbs are similar to adjectives in that their purpose is description. The difference is that adverbs describe actions instead of things. However, much like adjectives, they can be quite lazy. Instead of using the adverb “shyly” in the above passage, let’s use description.

Moments later, I stood in front of the class, biting my lip and avoiding eye contact with my classmates, who were pointing and laughing at the wet spot on my pants.

Your Turn

As I look over the rest of my story in the introduction, I see a few more opportunities to expand the writing and show (instead of tell) the reader what happened.

So this is your chance. I see some adjectives (unconvinced, persuaded), an adverb (excitedly), some opportunities for dialogue, and the chance to describe my senses.

How would you improve the writing? Show me your suggestions in the comments.

And if you need an expert essay editor to check out your narrative essay to let you know where you could show don’t tell, upload your document for editing today.

I’ll also bet that, by the time you were a junior or senior in high school, you were asked (and again, more than once), “What do you want to do when you graduate?”

If you answered these questions in any way that told people your plans for the future, you’re already used to talking about your career goals. The only difference this time is that you actually have to write them down.

Struggling to turn your standard answer of what you’ll do when you grow up into an essay? If so, this post can help. Here’s how to write a career goals essay that dreams big.

How to Write a Career Goals Essay That Dreams Big

Before you start writing, take a minute to think about why you’re actually writing a career goals essay.

• Is it an assignment for a class?
• Are you applying for a scholarship?
• Is it part of an admissions process, such as admission into the school of nursing or college of education?

No matter your purpose, before you begin to write, think about your audience.

If you’re writing for a class, pay attention to what your prof wants. If you know your prof is a stickler for following directions and you’ll lose mega points if you forget one small detail, then, by all means, make sure you’re diligent about reading assignment guidelines.

(Even if your prof isn’t such a stickler for every little detail, chances are she wrote those guidelines for a reason. So pay attention to them!)

If you’re writing your career goals essay to apply for a scholarship or as part of an admissions essay, remember, you’ll still need to follow content guidelines.

And though the guidelines might not explicitly state that you should use standard fonts and font sizes, rest assured that you’ll be expected to do so.

Need an essay format refresher? Check out this Essay Formatting Survival Guide (Infographic).

Okay, you’re thinking audience. You’re thinking format. Now you have to think content. So let’s talk about the content of a career goals essay.

Step 1: Livin’ the dream—What are your career goals?

The first step of writing a career goals essay is to prewrite. (Or if you’re more of a visual person, consider using a mind map to lay out your ideal career master plan to uncover specifics for your essay.)

For prewriting, start with a few basics like defining your dream job or writing about your ultimate career goal.

Next, move to more specific information. Think about the following as you write:

• Why do you want to do this type of work?
• What about the work appeals to you most?
• What do you want to accomplish in your career?
• Do you currently have any experience in this type of work?

Here’s a prewriting example for inspiration:

• My dream job and career goal: Children’s book illustrator

• Why do this job? I love to draw and love the creativity involved.

• What appeals to me? I’ve always enjoyed the illustrations in children’s books and have been inspired by the stories they tell. I like to create characters. I like to see how happy people are when viewing my work. Nothing beats the smile on children’s faces when they enjoy what I’ve created.

• What I want to accomplish: I’d ultimately like to draw for my own series of books.

• Current experience: I create my own work all the time. I’ve published in the school newspaper and won a local art contest.

With prewriting complete, next, think about the true focus of your essay.

Step 2: Your fight song—Focus your ideas

To focus your ideas, write a few concise sentences that explain your career goal and why you want to pursue the career. (These sentences are pretty much the thesis statement of your essay.)

If you’ve completed Step 1 (above), then you should already have an idea of what to write. You’ll just need to put the ideas into sentence form.

Here are three examples to illustrate what this step might look like:

• My dream job is to be an illustrator of children’s books. I have always been fascinated by the artwork in children’s books as it is often the images (more than the words) that tell the story. As an illustrator, I would love to share my illustrations with children and hopefully inspire their own creativity.

• My ultimate goal is to become a cardiologist. Though it will clearly be a long and demanding journey, I am prepared for the challenge. Receiving this scholarship will help me take that first step and enroll in pre-med courses.

• I have always dreamed of being an elementary teacher. I love working with young children and enjoy helping them unlock all that the world has to offer through developing creative and inspiring lessons.

Now that you have a clear focus, you’ll need to fill in the details to support your ideas. (See, this really is a lot like most other essays you’ve written, isn’t it?)

Step 3: Be the one that they want—Use details to support your statements

If you’re writing a career goals essay as part of a class assignment, your professor most likely wants to see how well you can articulate your ideas about your future career and how well you can support your ideas.

If you’re applying for a scholarship or to gain admission into a program or school, the committee not only wants to see how well you can articulate your ideas, but also wants you to convince them that you deserve the scholarship or a place in their program.

In either case, details are important.

Need a few ideas to get you thinking? Trying answering a few (or all) of these questions.

• Why are you a good fit for this career? What about your personality or your skill set makes you a good fit?
• What examples can you provide that can help demonstrate your skills? Have you volunteered in the field? Have you won awards? Do you currently work in a similar job?
• If you’re applying for a scholarship, consider discussing how the scholarship will help you achieve your goals.
• If you’re applying to a school or program, consider explaining why you’d be a good fit and how you might benefit the program.

In other words, sell yourself. Think of it as a first date. Your job is to put your best foot forward and convince the other person that you are indeed special.

Step 4: Give them something to think about—The strong conclusion

As with any essay, a strong conclusion is vital. The conclusion is the last thing your audience will read, so it makes sense that it’s what they’ll likely remember most.

In other words, make your conclusion count by leaving readers with a few memorable lines.

Make your career goals essay conclusion count. Leave readers with a few memorable lines.
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Here are two examples that leave the readers with a positive impression:

• Following in my mother’s footsteps and becoming a lawyer has always been my dream. Receiving this scholarship will be the first step in making my dreams a reality.

• Watching people enjoy my creations has always brought a smile to my face, and being able to one day own my own bakery will allow me to express my creativity and bring joy to my customers.

Remember, the conclusion isn’t quite the final step…

Play it Again—Reread and Revise Your Work

As you’ve probably heard at least a few times in your academic career, don’t submit an essay without revising.

Set your essay aside for a day or two. Then return to it to make sure it accurately captures your goals.

Ask yourself:

• Does your essay start strong by highlighting your career goals and making readers want to learn more about you?
• Do the details support your focus?
• Does the story make sense, and can you follow the logic of why you want to pursue your chosen career?
• Is the essay missing anything? Should you delete anything?
• Does it end with a strong, memorable statement?

Want to read a few career goals essays before writing your own? Check out these examples:

• An Essay on My Career Goals as a Nurse
• Letter of Application for the Presidential Scholarship at the College of DuPage
• Achieving Opportunities in the Summer Public Health Scholars Program (SPHSP)

Even after you’ve revised your paper, it’s always a good idea to have someone else read your work and offer revision suggestions. Let a Kibin editor be that someone else! Send your paper our way for some useful feedback.

We all have stories to tell and opinions on just about everything.

The million dollar question is, how do you take your thoughts, ideas, and opinions and put them on paper? How do you let your personality shine through and create a concise, yet meaningful essay?

Good question.

Before we dive into the answer and look at personal essay examples, let’s do a quick review of what exactly a personal essay is since there’s a few different ways to approach one. Ready?

Let’s Get Personal

Okay, not that personal, but let’s talk about the nuts and bolts of a personal essay.

Personal essays usually follow two patterns: the personal narrative essay or the personal opinion essay.

When you write a personal narrative essay, you’re essentially telling a story about yourself. The essay also usually includes a moral or a lesson.

The personal opinion essay is pretty much like it sounds. It offers your opinion on a given subject or topic.

No matter what type of personal essay you write, remember these three tips:

• The tone and language of a personal essay is often less formal than standard academic essays.
• Personal essays share opinions about an experience, a topic, or an issue.
• Like most essays, personal essays should start with a strong hook and grab (and hold) a reader’s attention.

Your personal essay doesn’t have to be boring. Proof: These 2 personal essay examples!
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And most importantly, your essay doesn’t have to be boring. Here are two personal essay examples with awesome personality that will show you how it’s done!

2 Personal Essay Examples with Awesome Personality

To help you get a better sense of what a well-written personal essay looks like, I’ve included two examples below. I’ve also made comments on both to help you see what each writer has done well and what the writer might do to improve the essay.

Personal essay example #1: A Personal Essay On Electronic Addiction

*Click images below to enlarge.

Need some additional guidance on a personal narrative essay? Read How to Write a Narrative Essay That Stands Out.

Personal essay example #2: The Evils of Standardized Testing

*Click images below to enlarge.

Struggling to get started on a personal opinion essay? Read The Opinion Essay: Everything You Need to Know to Make Yours Good.

Final Thoughts

Now that you’ve got a few good personal essay examples to inspire you, you’re ready to write your own. But there’s a few final things you should keep in mind.

Even though a personal essay means that you’re sharing a personal story or your opinion about a topic or subject, it doesn’t give you license to simply write without prewriting, outlining, or revising.

Remember, you only have a few pages to tell your story, so don’t spend the first few paragraphs rambling about stuff that doesn’t matter. Keep your sentences focused.

Ever start telling a story and have your friends say, “Yeah, yeah, so get to the point already”? That’s the stuff you want to cut from your story. Stick with only the good stuff and eliminate the details that don’t make your writing interesting and engaging.

Want help deciding what you should keep and what you should cut? Have a Kibin editor help!

Stuck on Your Narrative Essay?

Check Out These Example Narrative Essays

Yes! Show Me Examples.

“Hey, you’ll never guess what happened to me last night!”

“Dude! You gotta hear this!”

If a friend approaches you with one of these lines, chances are she has a story to tell. And judging by the sounds of it, the story is a good one!

We all know those people who tell great stories about their lives. They choose just the right words, express just the right tone and emotion, and get you to feel that same emotion.

Your goal when writing a narrative essay is to be that friend: the one who tells the perfect story.

Your goal when writing a narrative essay? Be the person who tells the perfect story.
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I know, it can be a lot easier to tell a story to your friends because you can stop, start, and rely on the feedback of someone else to know whether your story is a hit. In writing, once you’ve written your final draft, that’s essentially your only shot at getting the story right.

Wondering how you can get that story just right and write a compelling narrative? Here are two narrative essay examples that tell fascinating stories (after a quick review of what a narrative essay actually is, of course!).

The Narrative Essay

You’ve been writing the narrative essay for years. In elementary school, your teachers asked you to write about what you did during holiday breaks. In high school and college, you’re often asked to write about your experiences or life as a student.

Sometimes, though, a narrative isn’t about such basic topics. You might write about complex issues, such as struggles, goals, fears, or other life-changing events.

The key with any of these narratives is to engage your readers and make them feel. The narrative can be funny, serious, awe-inspiring, or tear-jerking, but as long as you’re telling your story and making your audience feel what you feel, you’re moving in the right direction.

For more help writing narrative essays, check out these posts:

• 4 Tips for Writing a Powerful Personal Narrative Essay
• How to Start a Narrative Essay: 16 Awesome Hooks
• How to Write a Narrative Essay That Stands Out
• 20 Narrative Essay Topics to Tell a Riveting Story
• Characteristics of Narrative Essays

2 Narrative Essay Examples That Tell Fascinating Stories

To help you see what a well-written narrative essay looks like, here are two examples.
I’ve added comments throughout each narrative essay example to point out key features of the narrative and to illustrate what the writer does well.

And of course, since no essay is perfect, I’ve also provided suggestions for improvement.

Narrative Essay Example #1: When My Mother Left Me

(click images below to enlarge)

Narrative Essay Example #2: The Importance of a Child’s Gift

(click images below to enlarge)

End of Story

So when your instructor assigns another narrative essay, you’re looking to just churn something out without giving it any pizzazz.

Wait a minute!

What if I told you writing an exciting narrative essay isn’t just easy, but it’s also pretty fun? You’d probably look at me like this.

Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to prove to you right now. You don’t have to be the next Shakespeare to write an awesome narrative essay. You just have to abide by a few simple rules. And don’t worry—I’ll let you know exactly what those rules are.

But first, let’s have a quick refresher.

What Is a Narrative Essay?

It’s pretty simple really. A narrative essay tells a story. It has lots of descriptive elements, and it’s quite different from other styles of essays.

It’s not an argumentative essay. You’re not trying to prove something against an alternate point of view. There should be a purpose to your story, but you don’t have to convince anyone you’re right

There should be a purpose to your story, but you don’t have to convince anyone you’re right.
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It’s not an explanatory essay. Explanatory essays can get kind of technical because, usually, they describe how something works. You’re describing an event.

It’s not a 5-paragraph essay. Many students fall into the 5-paragraph format (introduction, three body paragraphs, and conclusion) by default. Don’t fall into that trap! While it’s possible to only write five paragraphs for your essay, you’re not limited to this structure.

The easiest way to think about a narrative essay is just to think of the word narrate and to consider yourself the narrator. There are tons of examples of narration in both literature and film. One of my personal favorite narrators is Mister Sam Elliott from The Big Lebowski.

Here’s a clip:

Of course, you cannot just repeat, “Sometimes there’s a man,” in your narrative essay. You have to be more descriptive than that. But I’ll talk more about that in Step 6. First, we have to talk about Steps 1 through 5. So without further ado …

The Dude Abides … by These 8 Steps to Writing a Narrative Essay

1. Read the prompt carefully

This seems like a no-brainer, but many students are so excited by the chance to write creatively that they go straight into writing without reading the prompt.

2. Find a topic that fits the prompt

Once you clearly understand your prompt, you have to make sure you choose a relevant topic. You can have the most clever, well-written narrative essay in the class, but if you aren’t following the directions, you aren’t going to get a very good grade.

Need some more inspiration before moving ahead to step 3? Read these narrative essay examples:

• A Lesson Well Learned: Keep Your Problems To Yourself
• Life Experiences That Have Made Me Strong
• A Second Chance to Live
• Scars Tell Our Past

3. Create an outline

Okay, here’s where it starts getting fun (yes … I said fun in reference to an outline). Because you’re telling a story in a narrative essay, it can get kind of hard not to get lost in your words. The best way to keep your story focused is to have a plan.

Make a space for the introduction and conclusion—these can be kind of barebones for now. Then, instead of separating your outline into paragraphs, as you would with an argumentative essay outline, separate your other headings into how you want your story to progress.

You can go in a linear fashion (which is recommended in most cases), or you can Tarantino it and start near the end of your story first, then lead the reader there throughout the rest of your essay. This can get confusing, though, so use this approach with caution.

To give an example of an outline, I’ll focus on The Dude’s story. This is only part of the larger story, but it’ll give you an idea of how to organize your own essay:

1. Introduction
   1. Hook
   2. Thesis: Sometimes you bite the bar, sometimes the bar bites you
2. The Mix-Up
   1. Lebowski, aka The Dude, is assaulted and interrogated by Nihilists
   2. The Nihilists realize they have the wrong Jeff Lebowski
   3. One of the Nihilists pees on the rug (it really tied the room together)
3. The Proposition
   1. The Dude goes to demand payment for his rug from the other Lebowski, a millionaire
   2. Millionaire Lebowski wants The Dude to deliver ransom money for his kidnapped wife

Bonus tip: Elements of a great story

There are a few things you want to include in your outline, which will be your main plot points. Most great stories have five elements: exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution.

Your introduction can serve as your exposition, aka your setup.

Rising action infers some sort of conflict. This can be an external conflict like a nihilist peeing on your rug (the rug that really brought the room together). Or it can be an internal conflict, such as recognizing a flaw in yourself. The rising action also implies action. So the main character (usually you in narrative essays) has to do something about the conflict.

The climax is where stuff hits the fan. The problem usually gets out of hand, or there is a life-altering realization that happens. Perhaps you realize that the girl everyone thought was kidnapped actually faked it to get ransom money.

The falling action is cleaning up the mess after the climax. And the resolution, which should be your conclusion, ties everything up nicely. In your narrative essay, it’s helpful at this point to say what you learned by going through this story.

Your outline doesn’t have to include many details about these plot points, but it should at least say what they are so that you don’t get sidetracked when you start writing.

4. Find a good hook

Now is when you actually get into the writing part. A good hook might foreshadow the climax of your story. It could also be a quote that relates to your narrative, or anything else that grabs the reader’s attention. You want your readers to want to keep reading.

5. Write your thesis statement

Your thesis statement for a narrative essay typically relates to what you learned from the experience you’re writing about. You don’t want to make it too descriptive because you don’t want to give away the ending of your story, but don’t make it super vague, either.

An example thesis would be something like this:

Through ferret bites, fistfights, and the murder of his friend Donnie at the hands of Nihilists, The Dude learned that you simply cannot control the events in your life.

6. Use description and vivid details

When you get into your writing, don’t just make statements without any details. Add description. Follow the old adage show don’t tell.

Instead of saying, “The Dude was assaulted by Nihilists,” draw a picture with your words. For example, you could say something like this:

Men in black ambushed The Dude as he stepped through his doorway. They smashed his head into the toilet bowl, submerging his head repeatedly as they shouted, “Where’s the money, Lebowski?”

7. Wrap it up

Write a killer conclusion. Make sure you tie up any loose ends—you most likely won’t write a sequel. Explain in more detail what you learned through your experience and how you changed because of what happened.

My conclusion might go something like this:

Being attacked by Nihilists and their ferret, losing Donnie, meeting Maude, and getting involved in a kidnapping mystery all stemmed from a single incident—the mix-up of the two Lebowskis. The Dude learned he couldn’t control the events that followed, so he just went with the flow.

8. Revise

Don’t neglect this step! Revision is super important, especially in narrative writing. You want to make sure everything flows and that you didn’t stray off on some tangent. Of course, you want to check for spelling and grammar errors too.

If you get to your revisions and you realize that there’s something off about your narrative essay that you just can’t quite put your finger on, send it to one of the Kibin editors. They can make helpful corrections to the spelling, grammar, and flow of your writing, taking your essay that extra step to awesomeness.

Until next time, take it easy and happy writing. I’ll leave you this in closing.

Stuck on Your Narrative Essay?

Check Out These Example Narrative Essays

Yes! Show Me Examples.

And now your teacher wants you to show off your storytelling skills in a narrative essay, but where do you begin?

In this blog post, I’ll give you 20 narrative essay topics to explore along with advice for getting started and some examples from writers and students who’ve successfully tackled this style.

Getting Started: Narrative Components

Make sure you’re following any of your instructor’s guidelines for your narrative essay – you’ll want to meet their expectations, first and foremost. You should also have a solid understanding of how to write a narrative essay that stands out.

You’ll also want to make sure your narrative essay contains the following:

• An interesting hook
• A narrative arc
• Description
• A first-person approach

Telling What Happened

Don’t think you can tell a personal narrative story? Think again! You probably do this all the time. Even when you get home from a long day and tell your friends or parents, “You won’t believe what happened today,” you’re beginning a narrative.

But narratives should be more than a rant or a list of the day’s events. They should focus on a significant event or time in your life. Start by brainstorming and recalling memories from your past that are special to you. Some of these may be exciting or funny; others may be sorrowful or rough experiences.

Either way, jot the most interesting memories down in a notebook and consider which one you would most like to tell your audience (or professor, in this case).

4 Narrative Essay Topic Patterns

We tell narratives for a reason, and one of your main goals in writing a narrative essay is to make sure you have a clear purpose in writing about a specific event. Think, “Why am I writing this? Why is this event important, and what do I want my audience to get out of it?”

Here are some common narrative essay topic patterns that can help you focus on this goal:

The success story

This one is pretty easy to follow and used by many students. In this pattern, you can tell a narrative about a time when you overcame obstacles to reach a certain goal.

Resolving a conflict

Did you ever get into a fight or an argument with someone? Did you face some problem at school or work? Think about what steps you took to find a solution.

Personal growth

You’ve had many experiences, and some were pretty darn special. In this narrative pattern, you write about a powerful experience and how you changed and grew because of it.

The journey

Frodo took the One Ring to the fires of Mount Doom; I made friends with a hitchhiker in Nova Scotia. Big or small, think about a trip you took that still means something special to you today.

Let’s look at some narrative essay topics in each category to help you tell your own riveting story!

Narrative Essay Topics: The Success Story

1. The Interview

Describe a time when you interviewed for a job or position you really wanted and got it. Focus on the toughest parts of the interview and why you wanted so badly to get the job. What did you do to “wow” the interviewer, and what did you learn from the experience?

(Check out this interview narrative example to see how it’s done.)

2. Volunteer Work

Recall a time when you volunteered for a cause and succeeded in completing a specific project. What was your role in the project? What was the result of your success for the people you helped or situation you improved?

(Here is a volunteering essay worth reading.)

3. The Payoff

Did you ever work hard and save up money to buy something you really wanted? What was this item, what did you have to do to get it, and was it worth it?

(This essay about saving and spending can help you get started.)

4. Jumping Hurdles

Write a narrative about a class you took in high school or college or an assignment you had that was so tough that you had to work your tail off just to pass. Describe the teacher, the work, your feelings at the time, and what strategies you used to overcome these obstacles. What happened in the end, and what do you have to say about the outcome?

(This student tackled his own narrative essay successfully by changing his attitude)

5. Striking Back

Write about a time when you failed at something but then set out to conquer it once and for all. What did it take to overcome this failure, and what events led to your eventual success?

(Check out this useful essay, “Running Towards Success”.)

Narrative Essay Topics: Resolving a Conflict

6. The Outsider

Write about a time when you felt like an outsider. Where and when did this happen? Did you actively pursue inclusion, or did anybody around you help make you feel like part of the group? What changed as a result of your experience?

(Read about one outsider’s experience here).

7. The Big Fight

Describe a time you got into a fight. What were your reasons for fighting, and how do you feel about that experience now that you’re older and wiser? Did you do the right thing, or do you regret resorting to violence?

(Look at this narrative essay example about fighting in school.)

8. Nothing to Fear

Write about a time you were afraid. What did you do to overcome this fear, and how do you look at the same problem now that you’ve tackled it, head on?

(Check out this essay about overcoming stage fright.)

9. Tough Times

Think about an ongoing experience you’ve had to endure, and write about your coping mechanisms. Do these mechanisms involve exercises or help from friends and family? What helps you get through the tough times, and why are they effective?

(This moving essay shows you how one person copes with their troubles).

10. Snap Judgment

Write about a situation in which you had to react quickly to solve a problem. What was at stake, who was involved, and how did you beat the odds? What did you learn from the experience?

(Strap in for this exciting essay about saving another person’s life.)

Narrative Essay Topics: Personal Growth

11. Liar, Liar

Tell about the first time you truly experienced dishonesty. Not a little white lie, but something that made you forever question your trust in others.

(See this essay about why you should never let people you don’t know ride your bike.)

12. Stages of Grief

Describe when you experienced a difficult loss in your life. What events preceded the loss, and how do you remember that person today – how does their memory add significance to your own life?

(Read this powerful narrative about a mother losing her child.)

13. First Love

Recall the first time you knew you were in love with someone. What happened between you two that led to this realization? Reflect on where this relationship went and what the experience taught you about this emotion

(This essay provides great detail about a first love.)

14. Special Someone

Write about meeting someone new (in real life, via letters, or online), someone very different from yourself. Focus on how that person’s friendship changed your outlook on life.

(This superb example shows you how two people from Israel and Palestine formed a strong friendship).

15.  Freeeeeedom!

Think about when you first experienced a new freedom, such as getting your driver’s license, living alone for the first time, etc. Was the experience everything you expected? Why or why not?

(Check out how this writer’s experience led to freedom…and newfound responsibility.)

Narrative Essay Topics: The Journey

16. On Holiday

Discuss a pleasurable trip you took in which you gained new experiences, met interesting folks, or had your eyes opened to new ideas.

(See this essay about a trip to Europe)

17. Moving Away

Write about a time when you moved and left your old life behind to start a new one. What changes did you experience, and did the new environment help or hinder your transition?

(Check out this narrative about moving out of Wisconsin.)

18. A Whole New World

Maybe you left your country to attend school in the U.S., or perhaps your family traveled to another country for work and a better life. Whatever the case, describe your journey to a new country and the issues you dealt with during the transition.

(Look at this example of one writer’s emigration to America.)

19. On Your Own

Write about a time when you got ready to leave your home, family, and everything you knew for some great new adventure. What event from this time really stands out, and how did you deal with your anxieties or excitement then?

(See this example of a student getting ready to leave for college.)

20. Away Game

Describe when you and your sports team were on the road, headed to a big game or competition. Why was the event important, and how did you become closer to your teammates during the trip?

(Check out an essay by a college athlete on the road with his team.)

Time to Tell Your Story

Once you’ve chosen a narrative topic, you’re ready to start writing your essay!

Just be sure you’re following your instructor’s guidelines and know how to construct a narrative essay from beginning to end. Don’t forget to include the following:

• An interesting hook
• A narrative arc
• Description
• A first-person approach

And always proofread your work — better yet, let Kibin help you with that!

Stuck on Your Narrative Essay?

Check Out These Example Narrative Essays

Yes! Show Me Examples.

Okay, so, that didn’t happen. But, with any luck, that beginning has motivated you to read the rest of this blog post. And, therein lies the magic of a hook.

It can be difficult to keep your audience reading–because, let’s face it, most of us have short attention spans. However, a good hook can do just that. It’s the difference between pulling your reader into your writing and losing them to other distractions.

Without an interesting hook, you can lose your reader before the second paragraph.

A good hook is key to nearly every essay you write, but maybe none more so than in the narrative essay. So, let’s take a look at how to start a narrative essay.

What Is a Narrative Essay?

Before you can fully engage in what makes the perfect hook for your narrative essay, let’s make sure you know what a narrative essay is exactly.

A narrative, quite simply, is a story. Unlike other essays in which you may need to argue or prove something, a narrative essay is about telling a story.

Quite often, of course, this will be a story from your life. We all have stories. We tell them often. However, not all of those stories in your brain will make for a good narrative essay.

For example, you may have a really funny story about the time you ate grass as a kid and threw up at school. But, what will the reader take away from the story? Don’t eat grass? Well, we already know that.

Perhaps you also have a story about the first time you cut the lawn. You remember it being fun, exciting. However, the moment your father offered to pay you to do it, it suddenly felt unappealing, like work. Now, this story has potential, featuring a character transformation and a lesson to be learned.

A good narrative essay will be fun to write, interesting to read, and meaningful in some way, among other things.

And it should all start with an awesome hook.

Why Is It Important to Know How to Start a Narrative Essay?

Well, let’s keep this simple, shall we? When we write something, we want people to read what we have written. That goes double for something that is personal, like a narrative essay.

However, if the reader isn’t engaged in your writing, they aren’t going to finish it. Why would they when they could be learning about the Arab Spring through Jurassic Park Gifs?! (*cough* DieBuzzfeed *cough*).

This makes it utterly important that you grab their attention early. While they have the opportunity to learn something incredibly useful from your stellar narrative, the vortex of technological distractions can blend their brains into a fine purée.

So, please, start your essay off on an interesting foot. Please. Think of the children.

A good hook sentence grabs your audience and refuses to let go. It sets the tone for the rest of your story. It gets under your reader’s skin right from the beginning and starts to stir those feelings that your narrative essay intends to address.

16 Awesome Hooks to Start a Narrative Essay

There are myriad ways in which you can formulate your hook sentence. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list, because, well, writing doesn’t always fit into a mold. It involves being bold and striking out on your own and trusting your gut, even if your writing doesn’t fit neatly into a category.

However, having said that, there are some tried-and-true methods for hooking a reader. Here are few of the most common types of hooks, along with some awesome examples:

Use a Quote as a Narrative Hook

Quote from Literature

Is there a piece of literature that influenced you or relates directly to your story? Use a quote from it to eloquently connect your reader to your narrative.

1. I had felt so alone for so long, wondering why I was different, why I couldn’t be normal, when I read Kurt Vonnegut’s Player Piano for the first time: “I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” That was it.

2. I was alone in my room reading On the Road in which Jack Kerouac wrote, “A pain stabbed my heart, as it did every time I saw a girl I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world.” I was immediately transported back to that heavy summer day at Penn Station, July 23, 2010.

Quote from a Famous Person

Has a famous person inspired you in some way? The good news is that your reader probably knows the person too, you know, because of the whole famous thing. Tap into that connection.

3. Christopher McCandless once said, “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” It was in this spirit that I packed a small bag and left home at the age of 18.

4. As Socrates waited for his execution, he practiced a tune on his flute. When asked what was the use, he replied, “To know this tune before dying.” I can’t explain my own motivations any better. I just need to know.

Use an Anecdote as a Narrative Hook

No matter whether it’s funny or moving, starting your essay, right off the bat, with an intriguing anecdote from your story can be a great way to raise questions in your reader that keep them reading until the end. Authors do this all of the time.

5. One day, when I was ten years old, my father woke me for school. We had cereal together in the kitchen. He asked if I’d brushed my teeth. He walked me to the bus stop and told me to have a good day. It was a completely normal morning, which is what really gets me, because it was the last time I ever saw him.

6. The children talked about me, as they tended to do, not knowing that I could understand what they were saying. “Look at his eyes and his nose. So weird.” The life of an American in China is somewhat akin to an animal in a zoo, I suppose.

Use a Question as a Narrative Hook

If you have more of a direct style, instead of writing an anecdote meant to stir up questions in your reader, you may choose to just present them with a question. Again, the search for the answer can keep the pages turning.

7. They assured me that my choice would change nothing. But, how could it not? Could you sit down at sixteen years old and choose between your father and your mother, knowing the other will be devastated?

8. You just won the lottery. We’ve all imagined this scenario from time to time. What would you buy? Where would you go? What would change? Well, what if I told you that you didn’t need to win the lottery at all? Would you believe me?

Use a Shocking Statement as a Narrative Hook

If you want to be even more direct, try bypassing the questions and simply hitting your reader with the answer. Now, obviously, no one likes to be told what to think, so the idea is to feed the reader a bit of a shocking statement that motivates them to find out how you arrived at it.

9. Nothing you learn in the first seventeen years of your life means a thing. This was crystal clear the day I turned eighteen.

10. There is no such thing as free will. If it existed, I would have had a say in when, where, and to whom I was born.

Use an Interesting Fact as a Narrative Hook

The idea here is to present your reader with a fact that they are unaware of. Obviously, since we are talking about narrative essays, this will somehow have to relate to you personally. If executed correctly, it will add another layer to your story, putting it into perspective for the reader.

11. Every cell in the human body is replaced over the course of about seven years. That means, not one part of me from that April day ten years ago is still with me today.

12. Right now, as you read this, you are flying through space at a speed of 67,000 mph. There have been times in my life when I swear I could feel it.

Use Setting as a Narrative Hook

A narrative essay is not only about getting your message across. You must pull your reader into the story. You can do this by clearly describing your setting so your reader can envision it; once in, it will be difficult for them to get out.

13. As he pounded on the door, the room shook. I knew it would open eventually, and nothing would be the same, but I wasn’t watching the door. I couldn’t take my eyes off the Little League trophy that was slowly moving closer and closer to the edge of my shelf.

14. There was an old water tower in my hometown that I’d climb from time to time. I’d sit dangling my feet off the edge, picking at the flaking turquoise paint, and watching the cars carry those lucky people down that road, towards the setting sun, far away from me.

Use a Statistic as a Narrative Hook

How can statistics relate to a narrative essay? Well, that depends on your story, but they can help the reader understand where you’ve been or where you’re going.

15. Twenty-five percent of anorexia and bulimia sufferers are men, so why did I feel so alone?

16. The average American consumes 77.1 liters of beer per year in the United States. Then again, my father wasn’t average.

As alluded to before, this isn’t a complete list. However, with any luck, these examples have helped inspire you to understand how to start a narrative essay with a great hook.

If you still feel unsure about your hook, or your narrative essay in general, send it over to the dedicated editors at Kibin. They will give you honest, constructive feedback on how hooked they felt after reading your introduction.

Until then, explore the rest of the Kibin blog for stimulating content that nurtures the mind instead of turning it into mush.

Stuck on Your Narrative Essay?

Check Out These Example Narrative Essays

Yes! Show Me Examples.

Finally, an essay topic that is actually interesting to you: YOU!
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The excitement is building, you actually might not procrastinate this time. You’ve got your fingers on the keyboard, jittering to get started, but… wait… How do you write a personal narrative essay anyway?

And, how do you make it good?

Never fear. I’ll help you understand how a personal narrative essay works and how you can write it well enough to make your audience gasp in awe and surprise.

What Is a Personal Narrative Essay?

Personal narrative essays come in all shapes and sizes, but what they have in common is that they should be about you.

In a nutshell, writing a personal narrative essays means sharing an experience from your life to create an emotional reaction in your reader–reactions such as laughing out loud, tears, frustration, disappointment, etc.

Personal narrative essays share a personal experience in order to get an emotional reaction.
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By drawing people in and making them relate to you as a character, your readers will invest their time more readily into your story.

Most often, your instructor will give you a topic to work from, topics such as “explain a time when you had to make a difficult decision” or “talk about an experience you had that was similar to what happened in the book we just read.”

Using the topic your instructor gives you, narrow down the personal experiences that fit. While you’re thinking, write your ideas down on paper, or tell the story out loud to get an idea of how it might come out on paper.

Once you have 5 to 10 ideas, think about which ones would

1. be fun for you to write
2. make your audience interested in the story
3. fit the topic best
4. be meaningful to you
5. have enough material to meet your word or page count
6. not be too long of a story to write in detail

After you rate the topics you came up with using those qualifications, you can choose from the narrowed down list and start thinking about the details you need to include. Writing an outline of what your experience entailed is a great way to keep you on track as you write the first draft.

Need more help thinking of a topic? Check out these personal narrative essay examples!

One of the Best Villains and Essay Tactics Ever to Exist: (The) Hook

While you might be throwing the conventions for using personal pronouns in formal essays out the window (this essay is about you, after all), that doesn’t mean that you should leave all your writing strategies by the wayside.

You still have to hook your reader into the story from the beginning. Give them something shiny to look at, and rope them into your devious plot (*maniacal laughter ensues*).

So, great. Give readers the hook. What does that mean? It might be easier to show you.

Imagine this is the opening sentence in a personal narrative essay:

I typically eat olives in the afternoon and dislike Peter Pan. I am a bad man who doesn’t treat his villainous pirate crew very well. One time, I captured Tinker Bell, and she got pretty mad.

Do you think you would want to keep reading this story?

Pretty dry for a beginning of a story, even if it is from the perspective of Captain Hook. Well, let’s try this again.

While eating olives in the middle of the afternoon, I thought I heard a sound. Looking up from the knots I had been studying in the wooden table, I glanced around, wary for signs of that dastardly Peter Pan. Having assured myself that the sound had been a trick of my mind, I reached for another olive only to find that someone had taken all of them.

A bit more interesting, right? Wouldn’t you want to know more?

When writing your personal narrative essay, you’ll want to lead your readers on and get them interested in your story from the get-go. You can do that by throwing them right into the middle of your story and giving the minute (but relevant!) details of the scene so they can imagine what’s going one.

Make your story so involved and intriguing that they forget they are reading at all.

Keeping Your Audience Interested with Imagery

You might be tired of hearing the age-old advice, “show, don’t tell,” but that definitely applies to personal narrative essays.

When you’re showing the reader, you give detail that makes them feel like a part of the story. Telling the reader, on the other hand,  means that you simply state the events that happened without engaging them in the story.

Let me give you some examples. This is what telling might look like:

I broke my pen, and the ink went everywhere. I was sad.

And, this is what showing might look like:

As I wrote my apology on the lined paper, I did not realize how hard I was pressing on the pen. I heard the pen crack, and ink gushed onto my fingers, the table, and the paper, ruining the halfhearted apology before I could even send it.

In the second example, you get more information about the speaker’s surroundings, the mess of ink, and clues about what the speaker might be dealing with.

Rather than reveal your emotions outright, flavor your story with actions—using verbs, adjectives, and (sometimes) adverbs—that give the reader a distinct idea of how the speaker feels.

For instance, in the second example, the words “halfhearted” and “apology” give much more information about the scene and the speaker than the word “sad” does in the first example.

Giving Enough Details in Your Personal Narrative Essay

Do you have one of those friends who starts telling a story and just assumes that you understand certain things they fail to mention?

Does she think you can read her mind?

Don’t be one of those people when you’re writing your personal essay.

The last thing you want to do in your personal narrative essay is confuse your readers. That means you have to give them all the background information they need to understand your personal narrative. Do you need to clarify some lingo? Do you need to explain how your family members are related to you?

That doesn’t mean you have to spell it all out . Here are some ways to give your readers more details about your story and further involve them:

• Use dialogue
• Add descriptions of the scene that apply to the story
• Include a flashback if you need to go into the past to explain something
• Explain the significance of particular items or people within your story

Again, keep the “show, don’t tell” rule in mind, but make sure that all the pieces of the story are there. To test out the fluidity and logic of your personal narrative essay, read it to someone without context.

Reading it out loud will also help you catch typos and silly grammatical errors.

Concluding Your Personal Narrative Essay

You would expect the last episode of the fourth season of Game of Thrones to end on a cliffhanger, but your personal narrative essay likely won’t have a sequel to explain the rest of what happened. You are responsible for writing the ending.

This is your chance to tie up loose ends, reiterate “the point” of your personal narrative essay (why the story is important or how it impacted your life), and drive home any emotion you want to leave the reader.

Fortunately, Kibin has some great tips on writing concluding paragraphs for personal narrative essays that you can look at if you are stumped.

If you need even more help with learning how to write a narrative essay, check out How to Write a Narrative Essay That Stands Out.

Once you’re finished with the first draft, the expert editors and fine-tuners at Kibin can help you edit your personal narrative essay and leave you comments about how you can make your writing even more interesting.

Good luck!

*Cover image credit: Ross Catrow (Creative Commons)

But don’t worry if they haven’t been pounded into your head. I’ll cover it later.

You may understand when to use quotation marks and even when to include quotes from outside sources, but what about dialogue?

That’s the one that always gets you, right?

You may not know the technical difference between quoting a source and using dialogue, or maybe you don’t know how to tell which to include in your essay, or how to properly incorporate dialogue into your essay.

Slow down. Take a breath. Just relax.

I’m here to answer these and other questions you may have about how to write dialogue in an essay. I’ll take you through the main what, when, why, how, and where of writing dialogue:

• What is dialogue?
• When is it appropriate to use dialogue in your essay?
• Why should you use dialogue?
• How to write dialogue in an essay
• Where can you get more information about using dialogue?

Dialogue: What It Is and What It Isn’t

In order for you to know how to write dialogue in an essay, you should know what exactly dialogue is first.

It’s really pretty simple. Dialogue is just a conversation between two or more people. It can be used in movies, plays, fiction or, in this case, essays. Dialogue should not be confused with quotations from outside sources.

Because quotation marks are used with both dialogue and quoting directly from sources, it’s important to know the difference between the two. Here are the main differences to help clear up any confusion you might have:

A big point of confusion often comes from directly quoting dialogue. In this case, think about what you’re using that dialogue for–to demonstrate a point in your argument. Therefore, quoting dialogue would fall under the direct quote category.

Now that you know what dialogue is, it’s time to explore when to use it in your essay.

Knowing When to Use Dialogue in Your Essay and Why You Should Bother

As I mentioned before, dialogue is used all over the place, especially in movies, television, novels, and plays. For you and for the purposes of this advice, however, dialogue only really appears in one kind of essay–the narrative essay.

Why is this the case? It’s because other types of essays (i.e., argumentative and expository essays) aim to claim. In an argumentative essay, you are claiming that your point of view is the right one, and in an expository essay you are making a claim about how something works or explaining an idea.

Argumentative and expository essays aim to claim.
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Narrative essays, on the other hand, involve a more story-like nature. They tell readers of your past experiences. Many of those experiences include other people and the conversations you’ve had with them.

Using dialogue in argumentative and expository essays usually won’t add to your argument and may actually make it weaker. This is because your friends and family are probably not the best sources to  get your support from–at least not for essays. Instead, it’s a better plan to directly quote or paraphrase from experts in the topic that your essay is about.

Using dialogue in narrative essays is a great technique. Dialogue helps move the story along, adds dimension to any characters you might have, and creates more interest for the reader.

Dialogue moves the story along, adds dimension to characters, and creates interest.
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Don’t believe me? Imagine reading a novel in which none of the characters spoke, or a movie in which none of the actors had a single line. Pretty boring, right? Well the same concept can apply to your narrative essay.

How to Write Dialogue in an Essay

Now that you understand when to use dialogue, we can get into the nitty-gritty of proper formatting. (That is, just in case your teacher hasn’t covered it, or if you need a little bit of a review.) The rules for writing dialogue in your essay break down into two main categories: proper use of quotation marks and where to put other punctuation.

Quotation Marks (U.S. rules)

There are three main rules about quotation marks you need to know. They’re listed below, followed by examples:

Rule 1: Use double quotation marks to indicate that a person is speaking in your writing.

Example: When I was young, my mother told me, “Follow your passion and the money will come.”

Rule 2: Use single quotation marks around a quote within a quote.

Example: “What did Benjamin Franklin mean when he said, ‘An investment in knowledge pays the best interest’?” Ms. Jackson asked.

Rule 3: If a person in your essay has more than a paragraph of dialogue, use the opening quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph, but use closing quotation marks only at the end of the dialogue.

Example: Sarah nodded and said, “I think you’re right. We can’t get very far on this project if we can’t work together.

“But now there’s hardly any time left. Do you really think we can get it all done by Friday?”

Punctuation

There are only a few basic rules you need to know about where to put your punctuation when using dialogue.

Rule 1: If the quotation is at the end of a sentence, ALWAYS put your periods inside the quotation marks.

Ricky cried, “Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do”.

Doc explained, “The reason the time machine isn’t working is because the flux capacitor doesn’t have enough power.”

Rule 2: Put question marks and exclamation points inside the quotation marks only if they are part of what the person said.

The girl shouted, “Get that thing away from me”!

Billy was so ecstatic that he screamed, “I passed! I passed calculus!”

Rule 3: If the quote is part of a larger question or exclamation, put the punctuation after the quotation marks.

Did you hear Leo scream, “I’m king of the world?”

Did he just say, “The bird is the word”?

Rule 4: Use commas after said, asked, exclaimed or other similar verbs if they fall before the quote.

My brother said “I’m going to get you for this, sis.”

Mom always says, “Don’t play ball in the house.”

Rule 5: Place a comma inside the quotation marks if those verbs come after the quote.

“It’s getting dark. Come back inside” our mother called.

“Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes,” Mrs. Perkins said.

Rule 6: If a quoted sentence is broken up, put commas after the first part of the sentence, and after said, asked, exclaimed, etc.

“Yeah” she shrugged “I guess you’re right.”

“No,” she said, “I don’t have any plans tomorrow.”

Proper use of quotation marks and punctuation is not some random thing that you have to learn for no reason. These rules make your sentences easier to read and understand. Without them, your dialogue may turn into a headache for your reader, or for you when you go back and edit your writing.

Where to Find More Resources for How to Write Dialogue in an Essay

If you need some further clarification, you can use the links below for more examples and explanation on how to write dialogue in an essay.

Quotation Marks with Fiction, Poetry, and Titles – Purdue Owl

Talking Texts: Writing Dialogue in the College Composition Classroom

Writing Story Dialogue

How to Write Dialogue – Grammar Girl

Dialogue in Narrative Essays

In addition, the Kibin personal narrative essay examples can show you what dialogue looks like incorporated into a complete essay.

If you don’t think you quite have the hang of it when you’re done writing, you can send your essay to the Kibin editors for advice on how to fix it.

It’s likely that many of your teachers and professors have drilled it into your head that using first-person writing in your essays will immediately result in another unrelenting letter of the alphabet: “F.”

As a curious student, you may be thinking that surely there must be some instances where using first-person writing is okay.

If that’s you, you’re asking all the right questions. This post will cover when it’s okay to use first-person writing in your essays and when it’s better to stick with third-person.

What Exactly Is First-Person Writing?

First-person writing involves using singular first-person pronouns such as I, me, my, mine, etc. You could also use plural first-person pronouns such as we, our, us, ours, etc.

For instance, this adorable kitten is talking primarily in first-person perspective (the “you” and “your” there is second-person perspective, which could be another blog topic entirely).

First-person writing can get really boring really fast. For example, I’ll write a short narrative about my day so far.

I opened my emails.

I ate breakfast.

The neighbor’s dog annoyed me.

I pet my cats and later pushed them off the couch.

I thought about eating popcorn for breakfast…but didn’t.

My roommate and I could not decide whether or not to hang the art in our apartment.

While I might think I am fascinating, you have probably stopped reading the list by now. You’re done hearing about me, me, me, right?

Well, think of that as part of the reason your teachers might boycott first-person pronouns. If your professor wants you to write an essay about President Obama, he or she probably doesn’t want to hear about what you (or the President for that matter) ate for breakfast.

When Is First-person Writing Ineffective or Unwarranted?

Let’s face it. Everyone likes to write about themselves. The problem with first-person perspective in academic writing is that it can sound

• self-centered
• inaccurate
• one-sided
• boring

When your instructor wants you to write a 15-page research paper about the problems in the Middle East, exclusively talking about your opinions on the matter is going to be an issue.

Instead, you should look for unbiased sources, search through the material, and use that in your research paper to make it more credible. Yes, that might sound like a lot more work, but it will pay off when you get your grade.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to take out first-person writing altogether. If you have the impulse to write in first-person perspective a lot, that’s okay! It’s still a great way to get your thoughts out on paper.

For example, pretend that this is one of my main points for a poem analysis I am writing:

Using words such as “melancholy” and “frustration,” the poem made me feel sad.

In this case, the first-person “me” would not be appropriate because the focus needs to be on the poem itself and not on what I think about it. But, because I wrote this, I now understand what the poem is doing.

I can rewrite this idea in my second draft using third-person perspective:

Using words such as “melancholy” and “frustration,” the poem employs a mournful tone to demonstrate the difficulty that comes with the loss of a loved one.

Most times, you’re the only one who will see your first draft, so go ahead and throw first-person perspective in if it helps you get your thoughts on paper. Make sure, however, that you go through and take it out in your revision.

Make or Break Your Academic Career: When Is First-person Writing Okay?

Okay, I was being dramatic with that header. Really, if you mess up on choosing whether to use first-person writing or not, you don’t have to forever hang your head in shame. You might get a slap on the wrist (in the form of some red marks on your paper), but it’s not the end of the world.

However, it never hurts to educate yourself on the dos and don’ts of first-person writing.

While essays about you require first-person, other types of essays (e.g., research papers) usually should not include first-person perspective.

Essays about you require first-person POV, other types of essays usually don’t.
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Here are some examples of types of essays that, by their nature, require first-person writing:

• Personal narrative essays
• Memoir/reflective essays
• Personal statements (e.g., college application essays)

Try writing an essay about the first time you went to the dentist (narrative essay) without using first-person writing. It would probably sound something like this:

One time, someone’s mom took a person to the dentist, and that person did not like the dentist because the person had cavities.

Writing using “I”  just makes more sense for the context:

One time, my mom took me to the dentist, and I did not like the dentist because I had cavities.

Much better, right? There, you already have ammo to use against your teacher when he or she says “no” to first-person writing. 

If you would like to look at more examples of essays that require first-person writing, check out these sample personal narrative essays!

Getting Down and Dirty with First-Person Writing

Now we get to the more complicated bit: knowing when to use first-person writing in other types of academic papers.

As a failsafe, I would suggest that you stay away from first-person writing in most instances. As long as you are not writing personal essays, it would be hard to go wrong with leaving yourself out of it.

There are cases where first-person writing is appropriate in other types of academic writing, but I would highly suggest discussing it with your professor first. Here are a couple of those cases:

Case #1 – Replacing Passive Voice with First-person Writing

Passive voice is another no-no that professors and teachers pound into students’ heads, and one way to fix it is to use first-person perspective. Here is a sentence that is in passive voice:

The flask was used to combine the liquids so the experiment could be observed.

While some style guides say to limit passive voice, others strictly say not to use it at all. For instance, the above sentence would not be acceptable in APA Style. Here is one way to fix the sentence:

The researcher used the flask to combine the liquids and observe the experiment.

However, if you are the researcher, it would be appropriate to use “I” in your APA format lab write-up.

I used the flask to combine the liquids and observe the experiment.

“We” would also be appropriate an appropriate pronoun if there were more than one researcher and you were one of them.

We used the flask to combine the liquids and observe the experiment.

Case #2 – Personal Anecdotes

In some essays, adding a personal experience or anecdote can make your essay more successful. For instance, talking about an experience you had when you went to a public forum might be pertinent in a persuasive essay about why more people need to attend public forums.

That being said, don’t go crazy with the first-person writing like this guy.

In these types of essays, limit your use of first-person writing to maybe one short paragraph, and make sure that the writing is relevant to your topic. If you are writing an essay about how important doctors are, for example, you might not want to talk about how your dog has superpowers.

Just a hunch.

The Verdict on First-person Writing: Sometimes

Like many hard-and-fast rules, there are instances when using first-person pronouns (or even running red lights) is okay. 

Remember that personal essays (essays about you) need first-person writing. Research papers, literary analyses, and other academic papers, on the other hand, can include first-person writing on a situational basis as long as it is relevant and does not occur all the way through the essay.

If you need help taking the first-person pronouns out of your essay, you can always get help from our talented Kibin editors.

Good luck!

*Cover image by Frederik Delaere