But what if I showed you an example?

It would certainly help, right? Check out the video below to learn how to tie an overhand knot.

I’m pretty sure that most of you have tied this knot more than once in your lifetime. But as the video states, you simply didn’t know the official name of the knot you were tying.

So. What does tying knots have to do with writing a persuasive speech?

Admittedly, not much. But it does illustrate that sometimes you have a pretty good sense of how to do something, even if you don’t realize it. You just need an example to remind you how it’s done and to get you moving in the right direction.

That’s exactly the goal of this post: to provide you with two persuasive speech examples that can inspire your own writing.

2 Good Persuasive Speech Examples to Inspire You

In the two speeches below, I’ve included comments on what makes these examples good. I’ve also made note of a few places where the speaker may improve.

TAKE NOTE: Both of these speeches cite sources. If you’re required to turn in your outline or a copy of your speech, check with your teacher (or assignment guidelines) to see if you should include a Works Cited (MLA), a list of references (APA), or a bibliography (Chicago).

For both persuasive speeches, my commentary is marked with “Susan says” speech bubbles. The specific text that I’m discussing from each speech is notated with brackets and corresponding numbers—[#]. For commentary that applies to full paragraphs, you’ll see the following notation at the end of the paragraph(s): *[#].

Persuasive Speech Example #1: A Persuasive Speech on Limiting the Production and Use of Plastic

A Persuasive Speech on Limiting the Production and Use of Plastic

[1] When you hear the term “polluted plastics” I can tell you the exact picture that just popped into about 10 of your heads. This one, right? You have all heard of how plastics are affecting our marine life and “oh, the poor sea turtle”. And that’s great! Really, it is. We have had the idea that “pollution is bad” drilled into our brains since we were about 7. But this little sea turtle is not necessarily the problem. It’s much bigger than him. Plastics are leaving lasting effects on our ecosystems due to the improper disposal. Plastic production also uses up many of our natural resources. It is up to us to make a change in order to maintain sustainability. [2] Today, I want to show you just how destructive these effects are, how big of a dent we are making in our natural resources, and what steps we should take next.

Susan says: 

[1] This opening uses an excellent hook to grab the attention of the audience. The speaker uses the common image of a sea turtle being affected by pollution to make a connection with the audience and get them thinking about how pollution affects the environment.

Susan says:

[2] The speaker ends the opening with a clear thesis statement to let the audience know that the speech isn’t just about sea turtles. The speech will discuss the environmental impact of plastics and how to reduce the use of plastics.

Remember, a thesis statement is like a roadmap to your entire speech, so make sure to include a focused thesis to let your audience know what to expect.

Let’s say you want to throw away one plastic water bottle. Okay, no big deal. It’s just one bottle right? Well, Charleston is a peninsula, meaning that we are entirely surrounded by the ocean. According to Hannah Ellsbury in her article “The Problem with Plastic”, for every six water bottles we use, only one makes it to the recycling bin. The rest are sent to landfills. Or, even worse, they end up as trash on the land and in rivers, lakes, and the ocean. That means that, on average, all of us in this room cumulatively throw away or litter 6,100 water bottles a year. Now, let’s say that about ¼ of these end up in our beautiful Charleston harbor. That’s about 1,525 bottles just floating around outside of Charleston in a year, and that’s strictly from our first year seminar class alone. Pollutants found in the plastic in disposable water bottles deteriorate and leach into the water leaving potential carcinogens in the water we drink daily. Now if all 1,525 water bottles in our harbor are deteriorating, that means your fresh seafood at Hyman’s might be slightly infested with pollutants. *[3]

Susan says:

*[3] Most people use (or have used) plastic water bottles. The speaker knows this and thus uses this example to make another connection with the audience.

The speaker even goes one step further by mentioning the effects of pollution on seafood at a local restaurant.

Using these types of personal and localized examples are excellent ways to convince your audience because the audience can directly relate and see how pollution affects their daily lives.

This section also cites statistics and other information from sources to provide evidence of the claim. Such information further convinces the audience because they realize that the speaker isn’t simply providing a personal opinion. Instead, statements are backed up by experts.

[4] Even worse, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, the law of biomagnification states that pollutants “increases its concentration in the tissues of organisms as it travels up the food chain”. This means that all of you seafood lovers might have more pollutants in our bodies than we would imagine. Now, I bet you’re wondering what happens to the rest of the actual plastic pieces left in our oceans. Plastic pieces like these? Well, animals are ingesting them. In fact, plastic pieces are being found within birds in the Pacific, meaning that the plastic pieces are literally killing them from the inside out. The plastic found throughout the oceans is a result of improper disposal of our plastics. [5] Even worse, though, is how these plastics are made.

Susan says:

[4] While many teachers frown upon the use of dictionary definitions in essays or speeches, in this case the definition works well because many people wouldn’t understand the phrase “law of biomagnification.”

Susan says:

[5] Notice the importance of the last line of this section. It provides a transition to link ideas together.

Your audience needs a clear path to see the connection between ideas. Transitional words and phrases provide this connection.

You see how far this water bottle is filled? Imagine that it’s not water. Look at that and picture it as oil. That’s how much oil is used in the production of this bottle. According to Catherine Fox from National Geographic, Americans buy more water bottles than any other nation averaging at about 29 billion. In order to make all these bottles, manufacturers use 17 million barrels of crude oil. That’s enough oil to keep a million cars going for twelve months. By investing $10 in a reusable plastic water bottle, you are saving on average, $81.25 per year. You could potentially fill your car, which for us freshman is probably sitting back at home in our driveways, up three times with that money. *[6]

Susan says:

*[6] You need to know your audience in order to effectively convince them. In this case, the speaker is keenly aware of the audience and knows that first-year college students are often strapped for cash. Showing the audience how they can save money while saving the planet is a win-win and certainly goes a long way in persuading listeners.

The Office of Sustainability offers these water bottles to all students. They are made out of tin and are much more durable than any other kind of water bottle.

These bottles were offered for free at our freshman convocation and continue to be offered to all students. Not to mention, Starbucks has an option to purchase a reusable cup for a cheap price. Dining Halls have already enforced a plastic-free environment to dine, however, students are still able to purchase plastic containers from vending machines in education buildings. I believe that the College of Charleston should maintain the same standards they have set for the dining halls throughout campus. Soda dispensers with compostable cups should replace the vending machines currently residing in our education buildings. The Starbucks on campus should charge a small fee for each plastic cup used when ordering cold drinks. There is no reason plastic cups should still be sold on campus, and I propose a small fee should be charged for every purchase involving plastic. *[7]

Susan says:

*[7] The speaker begins to wrap up the speech by offering solutions. This strategy helps the audience become even more interested in the topic and shows them what even small steps can do to reduce the use of plastics.

Now I’m hoping that you’re interested in doing something to help cut down on the pollutants entering, not only your body, but millions of aquatic sea creatures as well. You know the harmful effects of plastic on our environment and you know the dent we put in our planet in the production of these goods. We should all make an effort to use reusable water bottles, however, if we must, to recycle our plastic waste. We must put an end to the era of plastic so this little guy can swim freely, but only our generation can do so. *[8]

Susan says:

*[8] The final section again appeals to the audience as a call to action.

It’s clear that the speaker is referencing a visual when stating “so this little guy can swim freely.” The image more than likely refers back to the opening point about sea turtles and pollution.

Connecting the conclusion to a point made in the introduction is a nice way to tie ideas together. And although the final line is worded a bit awkwardly, the point is still clear.

Persuasive Speech Example #2: A Persuasive Speech on the Topic of Organ Donation

A Persuasive Speech on the Topic of Organ Donation

[1] First of all I would like to thank you the board for inviting me here today, allowing me to be a part of and contributing to this cause that personally means so much to me. When I first contacted your organization, the Executive Director informed me that the greatest need was for a campaign that was tailored toward people between the ages of 18 and 24. The focus was to be on encouraging organ donation and facilitating open communication of the donor’s decision with family members. [2] Overall the campaign was to inform them of our nation’s public health crisis regarding organ donation. *[3]

Susan says:

[1] Rather than speaking to a general audience (or classmates and a teacher), this speaker is directly addressing an audience already aware that they will be listening to a speech about organ donation.

By speaking to a specific audience, this speaker can adjust the main ideas in order to directly appeal to listeners.

Susan says:

[2] Here, the speaker directly mentions the purpose of this speech: to inform the audience of the nation’s health crisis regarding organ donation.

Even though the audience likely knows the subject of the speech, in this thesis statement, the speaker lets the audience know that the focus is on the crisis of organ donation, not simply a general discussion of the topic.

Further, the speech focuses on the idea that this is a crisis. Thus, the speaker is clearly attempting to persuade listeners into seeing just how important it is to increase organ donation.

Susan says:

*[3] This opening paragraph is a solid start to the speech as it effectively presents the topic and appeals to the audience (which increases the likelihood that the speaker will persuade listeners).

That’s right: Organ Donation is a public health crisis.

• According to UNOS, the United Network for Organ Sharing as of this morning there are 90,350 American men, women, and children on the transplant waiting list.
• One person will die needlessly at the end of this hour waiting for organ donation and 10 more people are added to this list every day.
• There are over 250 billion people in our country. *[4]

Susan says:

*[4] Here, the speaker cites powerful statistics to persuade the audience and illustrate just how many people need organ transplants and how many die because they don’t receive the life-saving help they need.

Using startling statistics causes the audience to take notice. Plus, because the numbers are shocking, the audience is more likely to remember the argument made by the speaker and more likely to be convinced.

According to the Department of Health and Human Resources, in 2002, there were 2.5 million deaths, and 106,742 of them were due to accidents. In 2002, 6,190 donor heroes and their families made the decision to donate. When comparing these statistics less than a half percent, not even 1% of these accidental fatalities were used to save or improve the life of another human being. So when I say heroes that is exactly what I mean. *[5]

Figures taken from The Oregon Donor Program website are disheartening. The Oregon population is at 3.5 million and last year only 84 donor heroes and their families chose to donate the gift of life in our state. *[6]

You see the reality is it doesn’t take 90,000 donors to save or improve the lives of these people. For every one organ donor has the potential to help at least 50 individuals with their “Gift of Life”. You see I know this personally because two very special people to me were organ donors who died tragically and unexpectedly. Through my experiences I have gained a greater understanding of what the “Gift of Life” really means. *[7]

Susan says:

*[5–7] In these paragraphs, the speaker again stresses the lack of donors and attempts to persuade the audience to donate by illustrating how many people they can help through organ donation.

This campaign was specifically tailored for the scholars of Southern Oregon University, its alumni and community members who are a truth seeking, compassionate, and educated group of individuals. The campaign goal is to share this information utilizing an information kiosk for SOU students and alumni in the student union. The kiosk would give SOU community members the opportunity to sign up as organ donors and would offer practical useful tools to share their decision with their loved ones. *[8]

Susan says:

*[8] The speaker again appeals to the audience by complimenting them while explaining the campaign to increase organ donation.

By appealing to the audience’s sense of compassion, the speaker increases the chances of listeners believing in the cause.

The two artifacts I have created specifically for this persuasion campaign are:

* A green hospital bracelet will be given to each new organ donor or individuals who can show a driver’s license indicating them as being an organ donor at the kiosk. *[9]

The bracelet itself is an example of symbolic persuasion representing the many lives that have been touched by organ donation. The pictures and names on each bracelet are actual people that have either been the patient waiting, the patient who died waiting, the transplant survivor, or the donor heroes. *[10]

The bracelet then is used as a reminder, and a reinforcing element of their commitment to organ donation. Because the bracelet is worn and not tucked away it encourages vital communication of the donor’s decision with family and peers. *[11]

* My second artifact is a letter that was created to address and personalize the donor’s donation decision. A Gallup poll conducted for the Partnership for Organ Donation showed that 85% of Americans supported organ donation. According to the Organtransplants.org website each year nearly 50% of families decline the opportunity to save lives by donating organs and tissues of deceased loved ones. The truth is even if you have decided to be an organ donor and you yourself know the significance of your choice your family has the final say as to whether or not your commitment is carried out. *[12]

The letter will serve as another reminder of the donor’s commitment to share his donation decision with his family, furthermore solidifying his decision and his intent. *[13]

Susan says:

*[9–13] At the end of the speech, the speaker explains what artifacts will be used to encourage participation in organ donation. The artifacts represent real people, not just abstract numbers. This not only allows the current audience to make a personal connection but also allows them to see how this campaign will impact others.

By looking forward and illustrating how the artifacts will help the cause, the speaker has further convinced the audience to agree with the importance of both organ donation itself and participating in the campaign described in the speech.

[several paragraphs omitted]

In conclusion, the facts remain that:

• 90,350 people are waiting…for a life-saving transplant
• 19 people die every day because of the lack of organ donation.
• Last year 6,529 people died …waiting for a life saving transplant.
• In 2004 there were 7,151 donors and their families who chose to share the “gift of life”.
• According to the Department of Health and Human Resources in 2004, 27,036 people received a lifesaving organ transplant.*[14]

Organ donation is based on altruism in our culture. That is according to Mr. Webster an unselfish concern for or dedication to the interests or welfare of others. My final plea to this audience of truth seeking, compassionate, educated individuals would be to take a look at the facts, take a look at the need then take a look at what you can and will do to help fill the gap for Alex, Christopher, Amy, Fletcher, Mike, Katy, Jim, Jonah, Kim, Crystal, Gloria, Darcy, Chuck, Nikolette, Caleb, Don, Zachary, Joshua, Isabella, Mark, Kennedy, Alicia, Jerry, Ashton, Gary and Nona. *[15]

[16] Organ donation costs nothing, yet could mean everything!

Susan says:

*[14–15] Though the speaker might choose a more effective phrase than “in conclusion,” the end of this speech provides a clear push to persuade the audience. By citing shocking statistics and again making the information personal by adding names (rather than only statistics), the speaker is more likely to persuade the audience.

Susan says:

[16] The final line is also a call to action. This strategy is effective because it asks listeners to personally get involved and make a difference.

Now That You’re Inspired

Now that you’re inspired by the two persuasive speech examples above, it’s time to get creative and write your own speech.

Before you do, take a look at these resources to help get your speech rolling:

• 49 Persuasive Speech Topics You’ll Actually Want to Talk About
• How to Write a Persuasive Speech (On Just About Anything)
• This Persuasive Speech Outline Will Help You Write Faster

After you’ve written your speech, don’t forget that Kibin editors are here to help. Our expertise isn’t limited to essays, either. We have oodles of experience editing speeches too, and we’re ready to help you with yours.

I get it. If you’re not a fan of outlines, it can be pretty tedious to sort out where to put an “A,” a “1,” or a “b.” The mere thought of it is enough to drive you mad.

In all reality, though, outlining isn’t that bad, and it’s important to realize that there are some things in life that we just have to do—simply because they’re good for us.

When you’re a student, sometimes writing a formal outline is one of those things.

Even if you don’t find writing an outline that painful, there can be times when you need a little help getting your ideas together in the right format.

Whether you love (or hate) outlines, here’s how you can develop an outline to help you write your persuasive speech faster.

Before You Start Your Persuasive Speech Outline

Before you start outlining, you will, of course, need a topic for your persuasive speech. If you don’t already have one, this list of 49 speech topics or this one of 33 socially conscious persuasive topics should give you at least a little inspiration.

Even if you already have a topic, don’t immediately jump into outlining unless you’ve spent at least a little time pondering your topic. You need time to sort out your thoughts.

If your assignment requires research, make sure you also do a preliminary search to gather ideas and potential sources.

If you haven’t done either of these yet, take a brainstorming break now to do some research if needed.

Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you return. I’ll just grab a cup of coffee and wait.

How to Write a Persuasive Speech Outline

Have you pondered your topic? Spent a little time perusing sources? Excellent. Let’s talk outlines.

Even if you have a love/hate relationship with outlines, they’re excellent prewriting tools that will enable you to organize your thoughts and lay out the details of your speech.

They actually save a lot of time too. Once you put your ideas in outline form, you can write the actual speech in no time flat.

Another bonus of writing a detailed outline:

Your teacher may allow you to use only your outline when you deliver your speech. Having a well-written and concise outline means you’ll have your talking points in order (and you won’t fill the dead air with “…ummm” until you can think of something to say).

Where should you start?

The finished outline will contain all the usual sections: introduction, body, and conclusion.

That doesn’t mean that you have to start with the introduction and work, step by step, until you reach the conclusion, though.

You might start with a working thesis statement to help you establish the focus for your speech and then develop your main ideas. You can always go back and fill in the introduction and conclusion once you have a solid direction for your speech.

Of course, if you’re the type of person who needs to start at the introduction, that’s fine too. Do whatever works for you.

In my persuasive speech outline for this post, I’m going to start with the introduction and provide a step-by-step outline to help you get started on your own.

Here’s the topic for my persuasive speech outline: why adults should get a flu shot.

Persuasive speech introduction

The introduction needs to hook your audience, provide background and context for your topic, and contain a thesis statement to focus your speech.

Attention grabber

Begin the introduction by grabbing the attention of your audience with a clever or shocking hook.

Think about all those boring lectures you’ve sat through as a student. You don’t want to be that speaker. You don’t want your audience to tune you out and think about where they’re going to dinner instead of listening to your speech.

Instead, you want them on the edge of their seats, eager to hear what you have to say.

To grab the attention of my audience, I would start my introduction with this shocking statistic:

In the 2017–2018 flu season, 61,000 Americans died from the flu. It was one of the most severe flu seasons in history (CDC.gov).

This statistic hits home and shows the audience just how dangerous the flu can be.

Background/context

This section includes information that helps the audience understand the context of your topic and provides any background they may need to know to fully understand your key points.

You’ll also want to consider your audience as you develop your outline (and speech). If you’re speaking to senior citizens, for instance, the information you’ll include here (and throughout your speech) would likely be different than if you’re speaking to seniors in high school.

In my example, I’m trying to convince a general audience that they should get a flu shot, so I’d briefly explain a little bit about the shot and again stress how important a flu shot is to one’s health.

Thesis statement

Wrap up your opening with a clear thesis statement to let your audience know your stance on the topic.

My thesis statement would be something like this:

Adults should get a flu shot each year because it can be a life-saving vaccine.

This thesis statement clearly indicates that my topic will be flu shots, and because I’m writing a persuasive outline, my thesis presents my stance on the topic: that people need a flu shot because it can save lives.

Persuasive speech body

The body will be the majority of your speech. A basic outline will contain at least three main ideas to support your thesis.

Develop each idea in at least one paragraph. Unless you’re writing an extremely short speech, the body of your speech should be a minimum of three paragraphs. You may include more main ideas (and thus more paragraphs), of course, depending on your assignment.

Each main idea needs evidence to support your claim. (A claim is essentially the argument presented in your speech.)

If you’re citing sources, look for statistics, examples, and expert opinions to support your claims. Use paraphrases, summaries, and quotes to integrate the information into your speech.

Remember: Evidence from sources should support your claims, not make up the bulk of your writing. In other words, resist the urge to copy and paste large chunks of content into your outline. Write the speech in your own words and use sources as supporting evidence for your claims.

If research isn’t required for your persuasive speech, include personal examples and your own knowledge of the topic to support your claims.

Example body paragraph

 Here’s an example of how one of my body paragraphs would be structured:

Claim: Getting the flu shot helps with herd immunity.

Evidence: “Once enough people are vaccinated, the flu can’t spread quickly because it encounters people who are protected against it. The flu virus runs into a dead end” (Lynch).

Analysis/Commentary: Essentially, if everyone gets a flu shot, the virus can’t easily spread because everyone is protected against it. This also means that people who aren’t able to be vaccinated (such as the very young) are less likely to get the flu because fewer adults around them will become infected.

This example presents a solid claim and provides a quote from a reliable website to support the fact that getting a flu shot helps keep everyone safe. (You may wish to include more than one piece of evidence to support each claim.)

It also includes my own analysis and commentary to not only discuss the topic of herd immunity but also further explain (using my source as evidence) why adults should get an annual flu shot.

As you develop your main ideas, keep in mind that you want to appeal to your audience, and you want to use solid arguments.

To learn more about appeals and logic, check out these two posts:

• Ethos, Pathos, and Logos: Be More Persuasive in Your Next Essay
• 10 Logical Fallacies That Will Kill Your Argument

Counterargument and rebuttal

A counterargument is the opposing view to your claim. While you may not be required to include a counterargument in your speech, anticipating and addressing opposing views is a smart way to make your argument more convincing.

In my example, I’m arguing that people should get a flu shot because it can save lives. The opposing view might argue that vaccines are dangerous and getting a flu shot can actually cause someone to get sick.

A rebuttal is your reply to the opposing view. In other words, you’re adding more evidence to support your claim (while also illustrating why your claim is stronger than the claims of the opposition).

In my example, I could point to evidence that indicates that a flu shot doesn’t really cause people to get the flu. People who get the flu after receiving the shot were likely already exposed to the virus.

How you incorporate the counterargument and rebuttal will depend on your assignment (and, in some cases, personal preference).

Your teacher might require you to include a counterargument and rebuttal as a separate paragraph before the conclusion, or you may be allowed to incorporate a counterargument and rebuttal into one of your main body paragraphs.

Conclusion

The conclusion is your last chance to convince the audience of your claims.

To convince them, restate your key ideas and emphasize again why they should be convinced by your arguments.

Because I’m trying to convince my audience how important it is to get a flu shot, in my conclusion, I’ll remind them how miserable it feels to be sick. I’ll stress that if they take the time to get a flu shot, they not only can avoid the misery of the flu but also can prevent more serious illness and even protect others.

The Final Outline

If the mere thought of creating a persuasive speech outline still leaves you feeling a little under the weather, drink some soothing tea, and remember, outlining isn’t all that bad.

To make outlining even easier, here’s the skeleton of the persuasive speech outline we just created. You can use this as a guide to help you build your own outline by filling in your topic, claim, and supporting evidence.

1. Introduction

a. Hook/Attention grabber
b. Background and context
c. Thesis statement

2. Body: Evidence to support your thesis

a. Claim 1

i. Evidence from source(s) to support claim
ii. Analysis/Commentary

b. Claim 2

i. Evidence from source(s) to support claim
ii. Analysis/Commentary

c. Claim 3

i. Evidence from source(s) to support claim
ii. Analysis/Commentary

3. Body: Counterargument and Rebuttal

a. Counterargument
b. Evidence from source to illustrate counterargument
c. Refutation of argument and evidence

4. Conclusion

a. Restate key ideas and stress the importance of your claim
b. Emphasize why readers should be convinced by your arguments

Looking for an example outline before you tackle your own? Take a look at these outlines:

• A Speech Outline Regarding the Lowering of Athlete Salaries
• Outline of a Speech on How Helmets Reduce Injuries in Motorcycle Accidents

Ready to get started but need a shot in the arm to convince you to get moving?

Download this persuasive speech outline template to help you put your ideas in place.

If you have your outline finished but want a pair of expert eyes to provide some feedback before you step behind the podium, send it to the editors at Kibin. We can polish your outlines, essays, and just about any writing project your teachers can dream up.

Older siblings can be pretty persuasive, and if you’ve ever fallen victim to this persuasion (as I may have done once or twice), you already have a good understanding of what it takes to convince an audience.

How do you translate your experiences of being persuaded into being persuasive in your upcoming persuasive speech?

Here’s what you need to know to write a persuasive speech on just about anything.

The Art of Persuasion

Before you get started on your speech, it’s a smart idea to take the time to review a variety of techniques you can use to persuade your audience.

Thus, before we start the “how to” of how to write a persuasive speech, take a look at these articles:

• Use These Persuasive Techniques to Be More Convincing
• Ethos, Pathos, Logos: Be More Persuasive in Your Next Essay
• One Persuasive Writing Technique You Can’t Write Without

Ready to move on to learning how to write a persuasive speech? Excellent. Let’s start with topic selection.

Step 1: Choose a Topic for Your Persuasive Speech

Choosing the right topic for your persuasive speech is just as important as choosing the right topic for a persuasive essay.

One of the first steps of topic selection is to understand your assignment.

You need to know, for instance, if there are any guidelines (or prohibitions) on topics. For example, can your speech attempt to convince your classmates to buy you lunch, or can you attempt to convince your teacher to not assign any more homework this year?

Does your speech need to be about a more serious topic like texting and driving or cyberbullying? If so, does it need to include research?

Once you understand the parameters of your assignment, think about your own interests and whether you can be convincing while speaking about a given topic.

Let’s say your BFF suggests you speak about whether fast food should be served in public high schools. If it doesn’t matter to you what schools serve because you think it all tastes awful, this probably isn’t the best topic for you.

Exhausted your mental resources and can’t think of the perfect topic for your persuasive speech? Here are 137 ideas:

• 49 Persuasive Speech Topics You’ll Actually Want to Talk About 
• 33 Persuasive Essay Ideas That Make an Impact
• 40 Persuasive Essay Topics to Get You Started
• 15 Excellent Topics for Persuasive Essays

I’ve decided that my speech (for example purposes in this article) will focus on aliens.

Step 2: Develop a Focus for Your Persuasive Speech

Once you have a topic for your speech, you’ll need to narrow it appropriately.

If you want to write about graffiti, for instance, you can’t just start writing everything you know about the topic. (If you do, you’ll end up with lots of content, and you’ll be able to meet the time requirements—but trust me, you won’t end up with a good persuasive speech.)

Instead of just randomly writing about the topic, develop a persuasive focus.

If you were writing about graffiti, for instance, you could write about why graffiti is actually art rather than vandalism or why graffiti needs to be cleaned up in a specific neighborhood.

In my example, I chose aliens as my broad topic, and I’m going to narrow my topic to the existence of aliens. That is, I hope to persuade my audience to believe that aliens exist. But I could be even more specific and try to persuade my audience that television and movie aliens are based on real aliens already on Earth. (Who’s to say Spock isn’t an actual extraterrestrial on our planet?)

Once you’ve nailed down your focus, It’s time to start developing the nuts and bolts of the speech.

Step 3: Outline the Main Ideas of Your Persuasive Speech

After you’ve narrowed your topic, outline the main ideas.

When developing the main ideas of your speech, first consider whether you’re required to complete research. If you need to cite sources, make sure to locate credible resources.

Don’t forget to check to see what types of sources you can use too. You might be able to cite all websites, but you may be required to cite more scholarly resources, such as books or journals.

Creating the outline

So about that outline.

Unless a formal outline is required, you can jot down ideas in any outline format that works for you. You can also try a graphic organizer to visualize ideas.

You can also simply write a few notes to help get your ideas rolling.

For example, I might list the following as my main ideas about the existence of aliens:

• Water is necessary for life, and water is present on a number of planets.
• Astronauts (who are trusted experts) have reported UFOs.
• Scientists have established the SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) Institute.

These ideas give me a starting point for each of my main body paragraphs and function much like topic sentences because they give me a direction for each paragraph.

Supporting your claims

Next, I’ll need to fill in the rest of the paragraph with evidence to support my claims.

In my case, I’d need evidence from the experts to help me explain the following:

• where (besides Earth) water is present in the universe, and why this means that aliens could exist;
• which astronauts reported UFOs, what they reported, and why this is credible evidence of the existence of aliens; and
• details about the SETI Institute, its origins, and its purpose, and why the mere fact that the institute exists means that scientists believe there is life beyond Earth.

After sketching out these rough ideas, I’m ready to write a draft of my speech (and cite my sources according to my assignment guidelines).

I would, of course, start my assignment early enough so that I would have time to revise and edit. (Revision is important, so make sure you leave enough time to revise and edit your speech too.)

Be Persuasive and Appeal to Your Audience

As you write your persuasive speech, remember that you’re trying to convince your audience, so you need to think about who makes up your audience and what they believe.

Think about writing a persuasive speech as being like creating an ad campaign.

If you were advertising casual tennis shoes to teens, you’d have to think about what matters to them. Teens want style. While cost can play a factor, for the most part, as long as the shoe is trendy, you’ve appealed to their basic requirement.

Now think about creating an ad campaign for casual tennis shoes for older adults. While style may play a role, older adults are more concerned with cost, durability, and comfort. If you can convince older adults that a tennis shoe is comfortable, you’ve hooked them. Even if your shoe is a little more expensive, they’ll be willing to hand over their hard-earned cash in exchange for some comfy kicks.

See how using the right language and the right type of appeal (such as ethos, pathos, or logos) is necessary in order to convince your audience?

How to appeal to your specific audience

Given the above, it’s important to keep your audience in mind and think about what matters to them as you draft your speech.

For instance, if you’re trying to convince your teacher and classmates, consider how you can appeal to a general audience.

If your teacher has assigned an audience for your speech, you may have to pretend you’re speaking to parents, teens, or members of the school board (and thus consider what types of arguments you’ll use to convince them).

If your teacher allows some flexibility with your speech, you might choose your own audience. For example, if you’re writing about aliens, you could ask the class to pretend they’re aliens and try to convince them to take you to their home planet.

The takeaway: Know your audience. If you know how they think and what they believe, you’ll be able to appeal to them and be more convincing.

Additional Resources to Help You Write a Persuasive Speech

If you have a pretty good sense of what you want to write about and how you’ll put your speech together but are still looking for a little more help, check out these additional resources:

• How to Control the Tone of an Essay
• 20 Ways to Improve Your Academic Writing
• 10 Essay Writing Rules to Throw Out the Window

If you’d like to read an example or two of a persuasive speech before you get to work on your own, check out these speeches from our library:

• A Persuasive Speech on Pitbulls As a Non-Violent Breed of Dog
• A Persuasive Speech on Limiting the Production and Use of Plastic

One final piece of wisdom regarding speeches: Take a few deep breaths, and relax.

We all get nervous speaking in front of people (especially when our grade depends on it), but being prepared before you step foot behind the podium can make the entire process of delivering your speech a little less stressful.

Want to make sure your speech is in tip-top shape before you put yourself out there? Let the editors at Kibin help. While we can’t necessarily help you calm your nerves in front of an audience, we can help you prepare a terrific speech (on just about anything).

Live long and prosper.

That’s okay. I can’t blame you—writing an expository essay can be frustrating. It doesn’t have to be that difficult, though. All you need is a gentle push in the right direction. That’s what I’m here for.

In this post, I’ll show you how to write an expository essay outline. I’ve even included a downloadable outline template you can use to create your own outline.

But Wait … What’s an Expository Essay?

That’s a great question. Sadly, the answer is probably a bit more vague than you want it to be. An expository essay is a catch-all category that describes any essay where you thoroughly expose the inner workings of a topic and teach the reader something new.

In fact, this blog post could be considered an informal expository essay.

Usually, your teacher will ask you to write an expository essay to prove that you have done your research on a subject. Your goal is to effectively explain what a reader needs to know about the topic and answer relevant and interesting questions.

For the purpose of this blog post, let’s say we’re writing an expository essay on the effects of social media on daily life. (I grabbed this idea straight from Crystal’s blog post about expository writing—if you haven’t read it yet, you should hop over there now. I’ll wait).

My goal in this expository essay is to expose interesting information about the topic through the revelation of factual evidence.

To avoid the daunting stare of the blank page and to ensure your information is organized, always start with an outline.

Expository Essay Outline Structure

There is more than one way to pattern an expository essay, including sequential, cause and effect, compare and contrast, spatial, topical, and many other patterns.

Since we’re writing about the effects of social media, we’ll use a cause and effect pattern for this example. (Remember, just because you’re using a cause and effect pattern, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll need to focus on both causes and effects. Check your assignment guidelines to see what your teacher requires.)

Here’s how the general structure will look for this sample outline:

1. INTRODUCTION

A. Hook
B. Background
C. Thesis

2. FIRST BODY PARAGRAPH

A. Main idea 1
B. Evidence to support main idea 1
C. Evidence to support main idea 1
D. Analysis

3. BODY PARAGRAPH 2

A. Main idea 2
B. Evidence to support main idea 2
C. Evidence to support main idea 2
D. Analysis

4. BODY PARAGRAPH 3

A. Main idea 3
B. Evidence to support main idea 3
C. Evidence to support main idea 3
D. Analysis

5. CONCLUSION

A. Restate or summarize your thesis or focus
B. Discuss the larger significance/implications of topic or reveal unanswered questions

Here’s a graphic in case you’d like a visual reminder to follow along with:

Now, keep reading to see what a sample outline might look like with the details filled in.

Expository Essay Outline: Introductory Paragraph

Hook

Start with a hook sentence to get your readers’ attention. Remember, your hook should be both interesting and directly related to your topic.

My hook might look something like this:

Is social media ruining people’s lives?

By posing such a salient question right off the bat, I’m encouraging readers to continue reading.

(What if it is ruining lives?!)

Background

Provide background and context for the topic. Don’t assume your readers know anything about social media or its effects (as one of my English professors once taught me, to assume makes an ass out of u and me).

For example, I might include the following as background:

Social media allows people to connect online, keep in touch with family and friends, market themselves, or connect with customers. With the abundance of social media platforms—such as Twitter, SnapChat, WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook (to name a few)—people can spend countless hours in virtual connectivity.

Thesis statement

Write a clear, focused thesis statement. The thesis statement is like a roadmap to your paper. It’s where you get to the point of your essay.

My thesis statement might be something like this:

Even though social media can be a great tool to connect with others, most people don’t realize how much social media interferes with their daily lives.

(If your expository essay takes an argumentative stance, you might want to check out these examples of argumentative thesis statements with a more serious tone.)

What exactly your thesis statement might look like depends a lot on what your prof requires, obviously. But it also depends on the exact type of expository essay you’re writing and the scope of your topic. Make sure you get the structure right by considering any thesis statement myths it might be okay to ignore for your specific essay.

Expository Essay Outline: Body Paragraphs

Now that you’ve caught your readers’ attention, brought them up to speed on the basics, and laid out your thesis statement, your body paragraphs are set up to offer a deeper investigation into the topic of your essay.

The exact number of body paragraphs you incorporate will depend entirely on the parameters of your assignment and/or topic. My example includes three body paragraphs.

Each body paragraph should include the following elements:

• A topic sentence that gives the main idea of your paragraph.

• Factual evidence that answers your question or supports your thesis. In my example, I’ve incorporated two pieces of factual evidence for each topic, but your essay may use more or fewer.

• Your analysis of said evidence. This is where you dig in with your commentary on the importance of the evidence. (Remember to check with your teacher about point of view. Even though this is your analysis, you will likely need to write in third person point of view.)

• A good transition sentence to weave your essay together and seamlessly connect ideas. (Without the use of transitions, your essay can seem choppy and like a random set of vaguely related points.)

Because this example will include the effects of social media on daily life, each paragraph will focus on one key effect. (Remember, separate your main ideas into individual paragraphs. Don’t try to cram everything into one ginormous paragraph.)

Body paragraph 1

Main idea 1: Because it’s so accessible and distracting, social media is an easy way to procrastinate, which causes people to miss deadlines and fail to meet other obligations.

• Evidence: Students who don’t feel like writing an essay can easily spend hours on social media in order to avoid working on their papers. Because students wasted time, they don’t have enough time to work on their papers and end up with a lousy grade (or worse yet, failing the course).

• Evidence: People who aren’t engaged at their jobs could use every free moment to check social media to procrastinate and avoid their real work, such as someone who should be clearing tables. Procrastinating too much means that too many tables in the restaurant are dirty, customers don’t have any place to sit, and the person is soon fired for spending too much time on Twitter—#Unemployed.

Analysis: Some people who use social media as a way to procrastinate (or avoid other tasks completely) may experience minimal consequences, but extreme procrastination due to excessive time on social media can lead to life-changing negative effects.

Body paragraph 2

Main idea 2: Too much time on social media can make someone anti-social.

• Evidence: Before social media, a self-proclaimed cat lady who preferred to spend time with her cats would still need to hang out with people once in awhile to maintain social connections. After spending more and more time on social media, she withdraws from the real world and spends all her time with her cats and online with people who adore their cats as much as she does.

• Evidence: Before social media, college students might go to the movies with friends or to someone’s house to binge-watch their favorite zombie series. With heavy use of social media, those same college students might become more and more like zombies themselves, staring at the TV and chatting only with online friends through seven seasons of Zombie Apocalypse.

Analysis: Moderate use of social media can be an awesome way to connect with friends. Too much time spent on social media, however, makes it easy for people to become isolated, living only in the virtual world.

Body paragraph 3

Main idea 3: Social media can make people feel inadequate or that they’re living a boring life.

• Evidence: After a perfectly normal day of going to the grocery store, doing laundry, and catching up on homework, a woman checks Instagram, and she sees her best friend at the Super Bowl. Doing laundry hardly compares to attending the game, so she feels like her life isn’t as good as her friend’s.

• Evidence: A person scrolls through Pinterest and sees a friend’s version of the newest trending craft: an amazing bottle cap wall art masterpiece worthy of a spot in MoMA. When she compares her own attempt to her friend’s, she feels that her creation is only worthy of the garbage can.

Analysis: Even though people may be talented and lead perfectly normal lives, comparing their lives to their friends’ on social media can lead people to feel that they can’t compete and simply aren’t as good as others.

Expository Essay Outline: Concluding Paragraph

Finally, it’s time to write your concluding paragraph. In this paragraph, you can do any of the following:

Summarize your question or thesis

To focus on something that summarizes my thesis, I might write the following:

Though social media is an excellent tool to connect people, it’s important to use it wisely as it can do more harm than good.

Discuss the larger significance of the topic

A conclusion focused on the larger significance of my topic might include a statement like this:

Social media is a powerful tool that can end up creating an isolated society full of procrastinating, distracted people with feelings of inadequacy.

Reveal unanswered questions

A conclusion focused on unanswered questions about my topic might include this statement:

Even though social media can be used to connect people, wouldn’t it just be better to speak with people in person?

If you find you need more help with outlining and shaping the concluding paragraph, read these posts:

• 20 Essay Conclusion Examples to Help You Finish Strong
• Loose Ends: How to End an Essay With Authority
• Wrap It Up: 15 (Better) Concluding Transitions

Expository Essay Outline Download

If you’re in the position where you need to write an expository essay but aren’t sure where to begin, feel free to get started with this expository essay outline template (Word .doc download).

Check out these example expository essays if you need writing inspiration to get started.

If you have a draft and are looking for even more help with the finishing touches of your paper, you might find these posts helpful:

• How to Title an Essay When You’re Absolutely Stumped
• 33 Commonly Misused Words (and How to Get Them Right)
• 5 Punctuation Rules You Need to Know
• Why Eliminating Wordiness Is So Important for Your Essay

Once you’ve shaped your outline into a completed essay, get a Kibin editor to review your paper before you turn it in. We’ve edited tens of thousands of papers, and we can help you with yours too.

Good luck!

Editor’s note: This post was originally published on August 11, 2014, but has been updated for freshness and relevance.

Stuck on Your Expository Essay?

Check out these example expository essays.

Yes! Show Me Examples.

For these writers, inspiration might hit in six months when they’re walking out of a pub in London or having brunch in New York City. The perfect writing conditions might be a rainy afternoon in October or when the planets align and Jupiter is rising.

If you’re a student in an English class who’s struggling to be creative and feel confident in the world of creative writing, you likely don’t have the luxury of time. You might only have until next Tuesday to be inspired or for the planets to line up in your favor.

If that’s the case, what do you do to get the creative writing juices flowing? You take action, rather than wait for inspiration. Begin by reading (and practicing) the four creative writing tips in this post.

Four Creative Writing Tips to Boost Your Confidence

You don’t have to be a famous author to be a creative writer. (After all, every famous author had to start writing something before becoming famous, right?)

You also don’t have to be afraid to write. Everyone is creative. You simply need to practice flexing your creative muscles. Try these four tips to boost your confidence in your creative writing abilities.

Be yourself

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” —Dr. Seuss

Whether you’re a fan of William Shakespeare, Ernest Hemingway, Suzanne Collins, or Dr. Seuss, the truth is that you’re not any of these authors. (And that’s fine. You can still be an awesome writer.)

To be a strong writer, you should definitely read the works of these (and many other) authors to learn what good writing looks like and to learn how writers use language and develop characters.

Even after studying what great authors do well, though, you shouldn’t try to become those writers.

Find your own voice. Write in a style that works for you. Write about your own world and what you know. You may need to do a little research to get the details just right, but that’s fine. The key here is to be authentic.

Find inspiration

Inspiration can hit you when you least expect it, like when you’re waiting in a mile-long TSA line or when you’re getting your teeth cleaned. There are plenty of times, though, that inspiration doesn’t find you. You need to find it.

How do you “find” inspiration?

Your interests

Start by considering your interests and what you might want to write about.

If you’re writing about nature, then by all means, go outside. Sitting in front of your laptop isn’t going to be as inspiring as taking a walk through the woods or sitting by a pond—just look at what that did for Thoreau.

Already tried immersing yourself in a new environment and still feel like you don’t have what it takes to be creative? Try something else.

Your life

Why not look to your own life and memories as inspiration?

That road trip to Mt. Rushmore when you were 10 might have been your average vacation, but think back to that time your dad took a wrong turn somewhere in South Dakota or when you almost lost your little brother in a crowd.

Here’s the thing—you’re not writing a narrative essay that demands you tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You can take a few (or a lot) of creative liberties when you write the story as fiction.

Maybe in the world of creative writing your dad went the wrong way on the interstate, and you ended up in a small town diner, talking to a patron who you later learned was actually a wanted fugitive. Maybe your brother really did get lost. Maybe he ended up hanging out with a school group, and it took six hours before anyone in the group even realized that he wasn’t actually a member of the class.

If you still feel like you don’t have any stories to tell or are struggling to find inspiration, read 13 Surprising Sources of Inspiration for Writing and 4 Ways to Mine Social Media for Better Topics to Write About.

Or read other students’ creative writing pieces from our essay database to see what types of stories create compelling narratives.

Break through writer’s block

Did you know that Maya Angelou occasionally rented a hotel room to write in or that Stephen King likes a glass of water or tea and writes at the same time every day? J. K. Rowling, on the other hand, writes whenever she can and made up the names of characters on a sick bag when she was on an airplane (Bustle.com).

The point is that different writers have different routines and have various techniques to help them write.

You need to find what works for you.

Try a writing schedule. To begin, write at different times of the day. You might find that you’re too sleepy in the morning or too exhausted at night but work best mid-afternoon.

Maybe you’ll learn that you work best in long marathon stretches. Maybe you’re more creative if you write between classes.

Brainstorming to break writer’s block

If you just can’t seem to get writing at any time of day, brainstorm ideas. Remember, you don’t have to start with an entire story idea. Sometimes you can start with bits and pieces that turn into something brilliant.

For instance, you could…

• Create character names and their personality traits. A common name like Joe Smith could be perfect for a quirky character that is anything but ordinary.

• Write one scene that seems to stick in your mind. Maybe you have an idea about a conflict at an ATM or a wedding inside a fast-food restaurant. Perhaps there’s a funny moment on the subway or in line at a stadium restroom.

• Craft an interesting line. Though you may not have a complete idea for a story, starting with one line can get you moving in the right direction. Imagine starting with a line like, “It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” George Orwell might not have figured out the entire storyline of the dystopian classic 1984 when he wrote that line, but it’s a great hook that certainly grabs readers’ attention.

Want more tips for beating writer’s block? Read 4 Proven Ways to Keep Writer’s Block From Ruining Your Essay.

Have no fear

Ever try to skateboard, to audition for the lead in a dramatic play, or to do anything that you might fail at (or at least flounder at a little bit) on the first try?

Creative writing is a lot like these types of activities. You might struggle at first. You may realize that your first efforts require a lot of revisions in order to be even close to mediocre.

And because of these fears, you might hold back. After all, no one wants to face rejection. Who wants people to laugh at their efforts?

But what if they don’t laugh? What if you find you have a gift for acting or that your first short story is nothing short of amazing?

The truth is that you’ll never know until you try.

The (not so bad) worst-case scenarios

If you’re still feeling worried about putting yourself out there, think about worst-case scenarios. (I know that seems like strange advice, but hear me out.)

• You workshop your story in class, and some people might not like it. That’s okay. Maybe you love all things J.R.R. Tolkien, but your classmates dislike everything he’s ever written. Even great authors can’t please everyone, so don’t bother worrying about it.

• Classmates may suggest you make revisions. That’s okay too. Constructive feedback is important and helps you improve as a writer. If you work closely with a piece of writing for a long time, you often miss subtle things that fresh eyes can see.

• Your prof gives you a bad grade. This is definitely not okay. Fear of a bad grade is always present, but if you work hard and get the help you need (and follow assignment guidelines), you should be fine.

See? Even the worst-case scenarios aren’t that bad.

Keep in mind that if you do fail (or falter more than you’d like), you can always rewrite (and you can rewrite as many times as it takes to create your masterpiece).

Bonus Creative Writing Tip: Ask for a Little Help From Your Friends

From time to time, we all need a little help from our friends.

If you’d like a few more creative writing tips from your friends (like me) at the Kibin essay writing blog, read 5 Ways to Break the Rules in Your Creative Writing Essays and How to Show Don’t Tell in Your Narrative Essay.

If you’re not sure your friends want to read your latest story (or if you’re still not sure you want them to read it), check out Kibin’s editing service for authors and creative writers. As editors, we can help you polish your writing by catching errors you might miss and help you develop your writing skills by offering revision suggestions.

We’re also great cheerleaders and aren’t afraid to tell you when you’ve written something brilliant (and that will boost anyone’s confidence).

These urban legends have been around a long time, but they’re simply myths.

While touching some frogs can irritate your skin, frogs don’t cause warts. They’re caused by viruses.

And Twinkies? Well, they may not be made from the most organic ingredients, but they certainly do have a shelf life and will expire.

My point here is that myths can lead to a lot of misinformation and that it’s often a better choice to ignore them.

The same is true for myths about writing, specifically myths about creating a thesis statement.

When You Should Definitely Not Ignore Thesis Statement Myths

Let me start with a disclaimer: There are times when you should most definitely NOT ignore any thesis statement “myths.”

Case in point: A persnickety teacher who demands that you follow his or her exact guidelines for creating thesis statements, such as….

• Underline the thesis statement in your essay
• Use a three-part thesis statement
• Write a thesis statement that is no longer than one sentence
• Place the thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph

If your assignment requires you to follow a very specific format, then by all means follow it.

If your teacher is a stickler for guidelines, don’t be a rebel and break any rules.

On the other hand, if your teacher allows for a little more flexibility in your writing, here are five thesis statement myths that you can ignore (under the right circumstances, of course).

5 Thesis Statement Myths to (Sometimes) Ignore

The thesis statement is the road map to your essay. It lets readers know what to expect in your paper and helps you focus your ideas.

Most of us have learned specific “rules” for creating a thesis statement, and we generally stick with them in each essay. There are times, however, when these so-called “rules” can be broken.

Here are five examples of thesis statement myths and when it’s okay to ignore them.

Myth #1: A thesis statement can only be one sentence

After reading the above heading, you might ask, “Doesn’t a thesis statement always have to be one sentence?” And that might then prompt you to ask, “If it’s not one sentence, how long should a thesis statement be?”

While the general rule is that thesis statements should be one sentence, it’s not always necessary to limit your thesis to only one sentence.

If you’re writing a longer, more detailed paper (like a research essay or scientific report), for example, you might need two (or more) sentences to focus your ideas.

Take a look at this effective two-sentence thesis statement:

Recent research illustrates that children growing up in poverty struggle in school due to poor nutrition. The solution to this crisis is two-fold and requires schools to provide additional meals and increase education for both students and parents.

Combining these two sentences into one would muddy the meaning and create an awkwardly worded statement.

Thus, in this case, a two-sentence thesis works well. It’s clear that the paper will not only focus on the fact that children in poverty suffer academically due to poor nutrition but also address solutions to help both children and their parents.

Want to see an example of a two-sentence thesis in the context of an actual essay? Read How Does Self-Esteem Interact With Adolescent Depression? The thesis appears at the end of the second paragraph:

Although it appears that depression leads to low self-esteem, through investigating the research, it becomes clear that the opposite is true in that low self-esteem leads to depression especially in adolescence. This is specifically seen in longitudinal studies that show adolescents with low self-esteem over time developing depression, especially when they have negative relationships with their parents and low attachment with their peers.

Myth #2: A thesis statement must be the last sentence of your introduction

Did you raise your eyebrows at my last sentence? The part that says “…the thesis appears at the end of the second paragraph,” I mean.

Teachers generally suggest you place your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph, which often means it’s placed at the end of the introduction.

Sometimes, however, an introduction is longer than one paragraph, making it perfectly acceptable to place the thesis after the second or third paragraph.

There are also instances when you might place the thesis statement at the end of your paper (in the conclusion). Placing the thesis statement at the end of the paper can allow you to highlight the moral of the story in a narrative essay, for instance.

If you feel like being a radical, you might even try placing your thesis at the end of a research paper to establish your argument and lead readers to the conclusions you’ve reached based on your research.

Myth #3: Every essay needs a thesis statement

It’s true that most essays require creating a thesis statement to help establish the goals of the paper. But in some cases, forcing a thesis statement into certain types of essays (particularly in an introduction) simply makes the writing awkward.

Narrative essays

Narrative essays generally tell a story, so a traditional thesis statement doesn’t always work.

For example, if you’ve written a great hook that leaves readers on the edge of their seats as you describe the time you were attacked by a shark, you don’t want to ruin it with a forced thesis statement.

The focus or moral of the story will be evident as you develop your paper, so don’t ruin a great introduction just to insert a clunky transition to an equally clunky thesis.

To see an example of a successful narrative that doesn’t use a thesis statement, read The Story of How I Adopted My Cat Oliver.

Short essays

Most of us would agree that thesis statements work well (and are usually necessary) in longer essays, but what about short essays?

Short essays, of course, require a focus. But depending on your actual assignment, you may not need to include a traditional thesis statement in a short essay.

Op-eds, for example, provide a clear and concise opinion (usually in 750–1,000 words or less), so there’s no need to remind readers of the focus and key arguments by including a formal thesis statement.

Myth #4: A thesis statement must have three “reasons” supporting the primary claim

When you first learned to write an essay, you were probably taught the basic five-paragraph essay. This meant that every essay you wrote consisted of an introduction paragraph, three body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph.

With each essay containing three body paragraphs, it made sense that the thesis statement needed to be written as a three-part thesis to support the main claim of the paper.

But what if you’re writing a much longer essay?

A longer essay could very well include four (or more) arguments to support the primary claim. Using a multi-pronged thesis structure for this type of essay doesn’t work well. The thesis statement becomes too long and difficult to read.

Here’s an awkwardly worded thesis statement example to illustrate:

In order to avoid gaining the “Freshman 15” during the first year of college, students should plan meals ahead of time, choose sensible meals when dining out, prepare as many meals as possible in their dorms, limit late-night snacking, and continue healthy exercise habits, and if you want to quit smoking you should use vaping products like jeeter juice cartridge which is the best choice for this.

In this case, revising the thesis statement to eliminate the list of “reasons” would create a more focused and effective thesis.

Here’s the revised thesis statement:

In order to avoid gaining the “Freshman 15,” first-year college students should make healthy meal choices and continue healthy exercise habits.

This revised thesis clearly expresses the focus of the paper without listing each reason that will be included in the essay.

TAKE NOTE

Even if you do have only three main arguments to support your claim, you don’t necessarily need to use the standard three-part thesis.

As long as the thesis statement is worded concisely and expresses the focus of your paper, you can skip the three-part structure.

To see a well-written thesis statement that doesn’t use the three-part structure, take a look at this example essay from our database.

Myth #5: A thesis statement must be flashy to grab the reader’s attention

Granted, no one wants to read a boring thesis statement, but the purpose of a well-crafted thesis statement is to be effective, not necessarily flashy.

Take, for instance, creating a thesis statement for a scientific report.

The thesis for this type of writing needs to be straightforward and to the point. There’s no need to try to be flashy. The thesis statement simply needs to get the job done.

Here’s an example of an effective thesis statement for a scientific report.

Results of the Carpenter study indicate that, to increase traffic in the Student Center, both additional marketing and additional student-centered activities are needed to attract students.

Notice that this thesis statement is concise and far from flashy. But it is effective and appropriate for scientific writing (which requires factual data, rather than elaborate detail).

Besides, if you want to grab readers’ attention, it’s best to rely on a strong hook or attention grabber.

Looking For More Examples?

If you’re looking for more thesis statements examples as inspiration before creating a thesis statement on your own, read the following:

• 15 Thesis Statement Examples for Research Papers to Inspire You
• 15 Thesis Statement Examples to Inspire Your Next Argumentative Essay
• 30 Persuasive Thesis Statement Examples That Are…Persuasive
• 110 Good Thesis Statements for a Better Essay

In need of a little help crafting the perfect thesis? Try our Thesis Statement Generator.

Don’t forget: Expert help is also available 24/7 from Kibin editors. We’ve reviewed tens of thousands of thesis statements and can help you with yours too.

Stuck On Your Essay?

Try the Thesis Statement Builder

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“Noooooo!” you scream in anguish as your dreams (and your soul) are crushed by those big red letters staring back at you. Okay, an actual rejection letter would probably let you down way more gently than that. The soul-crushing disappointment, though? That’s super real and, well, crushing.

But your dreams don’t have to end that way. Use these 11 secrets to good college essays to help you nail all your college application essays and keep your dreams on track.

11 Secrets to Good College Essays

Whether you’re writing a general personal statement or one of what feels like a million supplemental admission essays, the nuts and bolts of what creates good college essays don’t really change that much. That means the secrets below apply in most cases.

Secret #1: Decode the prompt

The goal of essentially every prompt (as well as the general personal statement) is to give the admissions committee insight into who you are—as a person, as a student, and most importantly, as a potential student and community member at that specific school.

In other words, decoding the prompt is essential to your admission prospects. Once you decode the prompt, you can focus on showing the committee who you are and why you’re the best candidate within the scope of the prompt itself.

But you also need to understand what’s being asked specifically in a prompt and recognize the hints about the scope and structure of your response. Not sure how to do that? That’s okay. I’m here to help.

How to decode a college essay prompt

Let’s look at an example.

Prompt: “Tell us about personal, social or family challenges you have faced. How have you dealt with them, and how have they shaped your thinking? (500 words or less)”

The first hint is the word length.

While pretty standard, 500 words doesn’t give you a ton of space to work with. Thus, being clear and concise is key.

Second, the prompt is asking you to address three different things:

• Share personal, social, or family challenges
• Show how you dealt with them
• Show how you changed because of those challenges

This tells you that what you write about has to be directly related to you or impact you personally. You can’t tell a story about something that happened before you were born or about something that happened to your best friend and didn’t involve you.

The question is also asking for information that highlights important aspects of your character, background, or skills. While you might feel like the death of your grandparent is the most compelling story to tell, sharing the story of leading a group in class to victory on a project might be more enlightening for the committee.

Finally, the phrasing in the question suggests that you really need to bring home the lessons you’ve learned and how you’re going to apply those lessons in college and beyond.

Read this response to see how well one student decoded (or didn’t decode) the prompt above.

The main takeaway is, regardless of the prompt, understanding what a prompt is really asking is central to writing good college essays. Want more help on how to tackle a specific prompt? Check out these resources:

• 10 Common Types of College Essay Prompts—and How to Crush Them
• Decode the Common App College Essay Prompts for 2018-19

Secret #2: Think like the admissions committee

The admissions officers decide whether you’re admitted to your dream school. That means, to write a killer essay, you need to think like them and figure out what they care about.

Ultimately, they want insight into your perspective, your thinking, and your self-awareness. But they’re also considering the following:

What impact you’ll have

• What do you value about this school?
• What experiences have shaped your perspective and are unique to you (and are obvs worth sharing with your peers)?
• What do you want to get out of the college experience, specifically at this school?
• What strengths will serve you well in this program and the community? (Many prompts will directly ask this, but even if they don’t, trust me—the admissions committee wants to know.)
• How will you aid your peers?

The admissions committee often also wants to get an idea of what impact you’ll have on the reputation of the college—both during your college years and beyond. This isn’t universally true (obviously a community college doesn’t care if you want to cure cancer). But most admissions committees are considering your potential ROI (return on investment).

In other words, make it clear to them what you want to ultimately achieve in your career. Whatever that is, it will (eventually) reflect back on the school you attended, so it helps them decide if you’re a good fit.

Demonstrated interest and yield

Demonstrated interest is pretty self-explanatory—it’s how well you demonstrate your interest in the specific school. That means showing why, SPECIFICALLY, you want to attend this school. If you could remove the name of the school or program in your essays and drop in any other school/program name, you’re not effectively demonstrating your interest.

Yield is the percentage of accepted students who actually enroll. When you can demonstrate your interest, admissions officers are more likely to assume you’d actually enroll if accepted—and thus increase the yield of their offers (something that’s good for them).

Want more insight on what the admissions committee is thinking? Read Personal Statement Advice: Here’s What the Admissions Experts Have to Say.

Secret #3: Embrace a theme

Good college essays have a narrative or theme that connects all of the ideas. Period. Even if the prompt itself is pretty open-ended, your response should have a purpose and be centered around a theme.

That means making clear connections that bring the theme into focus throughout your essay.

For example, maybe you want to prevent needless suffering due to lack of access to preventative healthcare. Or maybe you have a lifelong passion for artistic expression or a desire to connect with others from different cultures.

Whatever *it* is, you want a theme that tells an engaging and compelling story. Then make sure that narrative is cohesive throughout your application essay. What you don’t want is a list of key ideas that feel disconnected.

If you need help identifying a theme, here are a few posts that can help you brainstorm ideas:

• How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas That Stand Out
• 4 Must-Answer Questions Before Brainstorming Personal Statement Topics
• Personal Statement Topics: A Step-by-Step Tutorial to Finding Yours!

Finally, many of the same elements of writing a personal narrative essay apply to college application essays. That means you can gain insight in how to approach your application essays by understanding what makes a personal narrative powerful.

Secret #4: Outline before you write

Once you know what you’re going to write about (see Secret #1 if you need help decoding the prompt), an outline is your bestiest of besties. Mapping out your essay in an outline or using a graphic organizer will help keep your essay focused.

More than that, it’ll help you organize your ideas logically.

And most importantly, outlining makes it easier for you to see how to connect different sections to a central idea or theme (see Secret #3).

Secret #5: Be authentic and unique

Everyone has a unique story to tell. Embrace yours, and be authentic in telling it.

What do I mean by that?

First, write in your own voice and at your own writing ability. Being fake will be obvious, yo. Don’t make stuff up, don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not, and don’t use so-called “big words” just because you think they make you sound smart. They don’t.

Second, write authentically about your experiences, your thoughts, your goals, and so on. If you were telling a friend about something, how would you talk about it? You’d be real and share your true thoughts, feelings, and aspirations, right? That’s the voice you want to capture.

Third, show why you’re unique and what makes you stand out from other applicants. How? Focus on key experiences that have shaped who you are. How you’ve responded to, learned from, and grown as a result of those experiences are the details that make you unique. Make a strong statement that tells YOUR unique story.

One caveat here is that you also want to keep Secrets #6, #7, and #8 in mind when crafting unique and authentic narratives.

Secret #6: Perfect the art of the humblebrag

You’re a badass, so own it—humbly, of course. This delicate balance lies in showing the admissions committee why you’re a badass without explicitly saying, “I’m a badass, yo!”

Enter the humblebrag.

Writing about yourself can be tough. I get it. But your application essays are one of the few places you’re expected to toot your own horn. It’s your job to show the admissions committee how awesome you are so that giving you an offer is a no-brainer.

Think of humblebragging as sort of like passive-aggressive bragging. You want to project confidence about who you are, why you’re unique, what attribute you’re zeroing in on, what you achieved, etc., but do so in a subtle rather than cocky way.

Let’s look at a few examples:

Example #1 (strong English skills): “Learning English was a challenge, but I worked hard and placed at the top of my English Language Learning class and received top marks on the TESOL exam.”

Example #2 (leadership experience): “My peers frequently looked to me for leadership and guidance, electing me to serve as group leader to ensure our best results.”

Example #3 (returning to school after a long absence): “Because I have had time to develop myself personally and professionally, I bring a strong sense of maturity and responsibility to my work.”

Trust me, I know how uncomfortable it can be to sell yourself, but that’s the whole point of college application essays, so don’t sell yourself short. And definitely don’t write about how you’re not very good at something. Embrace your awesomeness, whatever it is, in ways that show your strengths, character, ambitions, and drive.

Still feeling a little uncomfortable braggin’ about your badassery? Read How to Write an Essay About Yourself With Confidence.

Secret #7: Put on your persuasive pants

Regardless of what you’re writing about in your application essays, you want to be persuasive in your tone, in your word choices, and in the way you project confidence. How?

Don’t be wishy-washy

Promise, right now, to ban the phrases “I believe,” “I think,” and “I hope” (and any other phrases that lack an authoritative voice) from your application essays. Those phrases actually undermine your projected confidence, undermine your conviction in whatever follows the phrases, and ultimately, undermine the admissions committee’s confidence in you.

Use persuasive writing techniques

Your words and your approach matter a lot when you’re trying to be persuasive. At the core of persuasion are ethos, pathos, and logos (you can read about how to use them in your writing here), but there are many persuasive techniques you can use to convince the admissions committee that you’re perfect for the school.

Don’t use underwhelming aspirations

While you want to be authentic (see Secret #5), you don’t want to be underwhelming by saying something like, “I want to work at a mid-tier company in the plastics industry.” Not very compelling, right?

Instead, think big. Be bold. You should shoot for the stars in terms of your goals and aspirations. NO ONE WILL FOLLOW UP ON THIS. That said, you don’t have free license to lie or BS your way through your college application essays. Just be fearless and confident.

Describe the absolute dream. Then convince the admissions committee not only that you’re equipped to achieve it, but also that this school is central to making that dream a reality.

And hey, if you need to literally put on a snazzy pair of pants to feel more persuasive, no judgment here. I may or may not have worn silver leopard-print pants covered in glitter when writing persuasive essays in college.

Secret #8: Avoid a snoozefest

Your goal is to be accepted, which means not putting the admissions committee to sleep, obviously. The admissions committee literally has to read THOUSANDS of essays from applicants just like you who are just as eager to be accepted.

The good news is that there are some techniques you can use to get—and keep—their attention by being engaging and telling a compelling narrative. How? I’m glad you asked. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Use a good hook

Starting with a good hook is essential to writing good application essays. Why? You want to get the admissions committee engaged with your essay from the very first sentence. Need help developing a compelling opening? Read How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way and How to Write Attention Grabbers That Work.

SHOW, don’t tell, the committee why you’re awesome and a good fit for the school

In other words, share a story. Don’t simply tell the admissions officers something. SHOW them through the actions you took, how your thinking shifted, how you were impacted by something, what you felt…yada, yada, yada. Tap into details that evoke emotions using descriptive, emotive words. Paint a picture that’s compelling.

Focus on what you’re passionate about

Don’t write about something just because you think it will be impressive. Admissions officers will see right through that. If you choose something that you’re passionate about, the enthusiasm behind it will show. And that’s super important for writing good college essays.

Secret #9: Keep the focus on YOU

This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many students use too much valuable essay space to talk about something or someone else that’s more tangential to their own story.

For instance, a common mistake is focusing completely on an event that took place, such as an event you volunteered at, something monumental that happened to you, or something that happened to everyone (like 9/11).

While what occurred is important, you need to demonstrate how it affected YOU and how YOU felt. Admissions officers want to see how YOU think and how YOU’VE grown. The essay is the only place on YOUR application to truly take them into YOUR mind.

The same goes for if you’re writing about someone who inspired YOU or shaped who YOU are in some critical way.

In other words, YOU are the star (in case me screaming it at you in all caps 100 times didn’t emphasize that enough, heh). Bask in the spotlight!

Secret #10: End with pizzazz

The end of your application essay, whatever the prompt, is your mic-drop moment. It’s your last chance (in that essay, anyway) to make a lasting impression, so make it count!

Dial into the core takeaway you want the reader to remember and end with something that brings your theme (see Secret #3) together cohesively while making a strong statement.

Here are a few examples of powerful closings:

Theme #1: Developing resilience through adversity

Closing: I am not here before you today in spite of my setbacks, but rather because of how they challenged me and inspired me to change and adapt. The barriers helped me build resiliency and led me to pursue my dreams, knowing that I have the strength and determination it takes to succeed and make a difference in the lives of others.

Theme #2: My father, my role model

Closing: To me, my father epitomized success. I idolized him as only a son can, and even when he faced incredible setbacks and had to regroup, I saw his strength and determination as a source of inspiration. I aspire to someday have the same impact on those around me, share the same love with my family, and see the same intense respect and admiration in my own son’s eyes. Only then will I truly know success.

Secret #11: Get a second pair of eyes

Like anything of monumental importance, getting a second (or third or fourth) pair of eyes on your college application essays can provide crucial feedback. And the first 10 secrets here convey just how much thought needs to go into your essays—and the aspects that are essential to getting them right.

Friends, family members, teachers, guidance counselors, and others in your life can probably give you some broad-level feedback on whether your essays are compelling. But sometimes the surest way to tell your BEST story is with the help of an impartial observer.

Enter Kibin’s admission essay editors—who know all the secrets to good college essays.

We’ll help you polish your essays to make sure you’re on the right track—to avoid that soul-crushing defeat of a rejection from your dream school.

As you step in front of a panel of rather intimidating celebrity judges for your audition, they eye you up for a few seconds, and then one of them says, “In 500 words, tell us why we should choose you.”

Your entire audition rests on the answer to this one question. A million thoughts (and thoughts of a million dollars) rush through your mind. Should you lead with a funny story? Should you be serious and scholarly? Should you begin with esoteric thoughts about the universe?

There’s no time to worry about that now. You wish you knew this was the question they were going to ask. You wish you had time to prepare.

The personal statement is the college admissions equivalent of trying out for such a TV show—except, of course, you have time to prepare, and the prize is college admission, not a million dollars.

Like the TV audition, your college “audition” means you have just one chance (and a few hundred words) to prove your worth.

First impressions are everything, so impressing the judges (or in this case admissions reps) right off the bat is certainly going to improve your chances of being admitted.

Not sure how to make that happen? Here’s how to start your personal statement the right way.

How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way

Starting a personal statement the right way means that your opening lines make readers take notice and make them want to keep reading to learn more about you.

This clever, attention-grabbing opening is also known as a hook. You know, kinda like a fishing hook (or a fishing lure). It’s shiny, attractive, and irresistible.

To learn the basics of writing a good hook, check out these blog posts:

• What Is a Hook Sentence? (Infographic)
• How to Write Good Hook Sentences

With the basics of writing hooks under your belt, let’s move on to the specifics of writing excellent hooks for a personal statement.

How Long Should an Introduction Be in a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is generally about 500 words. That’s not a lot of space. Thus, your opening shouldn’t be more than a few sentences.

You need to hook the reader quickly and move on to the main point of your statement.

Here’s an example:

“Who are you?” my grandmother asked me. I was confused by the question. How could a lady that had practically raised me not know who I am? My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease just three months prior; three months after her diagnosis, my grandmother had forgotten how to walk, eat, and in the end breathe; however, that one question stuck with me: who am I?

The start of this personal statement is only 66 words long, but it’s full of information. Readers learn about the writer’s grandmother, her health condition, and the important question that leads this writer to some form of self-discovery.

Readers will also be intrigued and continue reading. Why? They want to learn more about the connection between the writer, his or her grandmother, and the connection to the writer’s self-discovery and college admission.

The takeaway? Keep it short and sweet. Don’t try to ramble on in order to take up space. Use clear, specific wording, and choose your words wisely to ensure they’ll have the most impact.

How Do You Write a Hook in a Personal Statement?

If you’re writing an essay for a class, you know that different essays often require different types of hooks. For instance, depending on the type of essay, you might begin the introduction by using a quote, an anecdote, or statistic to interest your reader.

Starting your personal statement is the same in that you’ll need to choose the right kind of hook for your statement.

Below are two hooks you might consider.

Open with an anecdote

By starting with a story or personal example, you can frame the essay to help shape your discussion.

This type of opening works well for personal statements that describe a lesson you’ve learned, for personal statements that discuss adversity or challenges you have overcome, or for personal statements that use humor.

Here are the opening lines from a sample personal statement:

“I stand at a mere 4’ 11”. Though small, I am mightier than many 6’0” men. This strength is not the result of physical exercise; rather, it is the product of a physically disabling medical condition that I have had to overcome throughout my life. With this medical condition I never thought I would make it to college; now here I am, 21 years old and applying to law school.”

This opening hooks readers because they want to know not only about the medical condition and adversity that this writer has conquered but also how this connects to law school and becoming a successful lawyer.

Set the stage

By starting in the middle of the story (often by opening your statement with dialogue), you’re able to put readers in the middle of the action. They’re already involved in the scene and want to learn more about the story.

Here are the opening lines from another personal statement in our examples library:

“Close your mouth, Tiffany,” my older brother would say to me. “I can’t, my nose is stuffy,” I replied back. As long as I can remember I have always suffered from chronic stuffiness whether it was during the summer or winter, I just never had the ability to breathe out of my nose with full capacity. My stuffy nose ignited my curiosity about how the human body functioned and I would often sift through hundreds of pages of my mom’s Harvard and Mayo clinic books to try and diagnose why I was always congested or other ailments I may have suffered from and try and diagnose myself.

This opening hooks readers because they want to know how the story ends. They’re already invested in the story and want to know why the writer was always stuffy and why this fact is important to her future education and career goals.

What Should You Avoid in a Personal Statement?

Just as there are strategies that make your readers eager to continue reading, some strategies are a definite yawn and will put the average reader to sleep.

Below are two things to avoid when starting your personal statement.

Avoid clichés

Definitely avoid clichés. Clichés are tired expressions that we’ve heard a gazillion times. They’re so common that they’ve lost their punch.

For instance, if you’re writing a personal statement about overcoming adversity, don’t start with “what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.” Or if you’re writing about how you’ve drawn strength from your family, don’t lead with “blood is thicker than water.”

Readers have heard these phrases far too many times, and if they feel your opening is less than original, they’re more likely to think that your entire personal statement is the same.

Avoid rephrasing the prompt as your opening line

When you were younger, you were taught to answer questions by including the wording of the original question in your reply. For instance, if the question was, “What are the three colors on the American flag?” you would write, “The three colors on the American flag are red, white, and blue.”

While this strategy is excellent for basic short-answer questions, it should definitely not be used when writing the opening of your personal statement.

In other words, if the prompt asks, “Why do you want to attend this college?” don’t open with, “I want to attend this college because…”

These types of openings lack originality. They make your personal statement sound like you’re writing a fourth-grade science report.

How to Get Additional Help Writing a Personal Statement

If you’re in need of more help, don’t panic.

Take a look at these additional blog posts chock full of expert advice:

• How to Write a Personal Statement That Makes a Statement
• 4 Must-Answer Questions Before Brainstorming Personal Statement Topics
• 10 Types of College Essay Prompts—And How to Crush Them
• How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas That Stand Out
• 11 Secrets to Good College Essays

Want to read more examples to see how you might start your personal statement? Check out these examples from our essay library.

Not quite sure whether your current personal statement stands out or falls flat? Kibin has been editing personal statements since 2011, and our team is here 24/7 to give you personal advice on yours.

You want your profile to stand out among potential dates, so you carefully select your best staged candid shots and choose your words carefully to describe your scintillating personality and dynamic sense of humor.

You’re well aware that how you construct your profile determines whether someone swipes right or swipes left.

Writing a college admission essay is kinda like creating a dating profile.

You need to carefully choose your essay topic, one that showcases your amazing self.

After all, the college admission essay could make all the difference in whether essay readers swipe right or swipe left to decide whether you’re in or out.

So let’s get those admission officers to swipe right and move you that much closer to being admitted to the college of your choice.

Keep reading to learn how to come up with college essay ideas that will make your essay stand out.

What Is a College Essay?

A college admission essay is part narrative essay and part reflective essay.

In a college essay, you need to tell a story (as you would in a narrative essay), and you need to reflect on your experiences (as you would in a reflective essay).

A college essay, however, is slightly different than those essay types because you need to keep two key points in mind:

1. Purpose. The purpose of a college essay is to showcase yourself as a mature, hardworking, responsible, and involved individual. The purpose of the essay is to help you get into a college. Thus, an essay that reflects on why it wasn’t the best idea to binge-watch your favorite series all night instead of studying for your chemistry exam isn’t the best topic choice for this essay.

2. Audience. College admission officers (and possibly college faculty) will be reading your essay. Your audience is made up of professionals who are looking for professionalism in your essay, so things like academic voice and proper grammar and punctuation really do matter (perhaps even more so than in essays written for a class).

Looking for the finer points of what goes into a college essay? Read these posts:

• Personal Statement Advice: Here’s What the Admissions Experts Have to Say
• 10 Common Types of College Essay Prompts—and How to Crush Them
• How to Start a Personal Statement the Right Way
• 11 Secrets to Good College Essays

How to Come Up With College Essay Ideas That Stand Out

Remember, your audience reads volumes worth of college essays every year, so you don’t want to write a bland essay about a boring topic. You want your essay to stand out. You want it to showcase your individuality and convince readers that you belong at the college.

One of the best ways to come up with a college essay idea is to spend lots of time brainstorming ideas until you finally find one that works for you.

Keep in mind that this brainstorming activity isn’t one that you can complete in five minutes. You’ll need at least a day or two to contemplate ideas and form your thoughts.

With that in mind, let’s come up with a topic idea that stands out.

To find the perfect topic for your essay, read through the list below, and jot down potential ideas.

College essay ideas about characters, animals, and people in your life

Celebrities and fictional characters

• Did you idolize a celebrity or fictional character in your childhood? Have you tried to model your life after her/him at any point in your life?
• Did you try to learn from her/him and avoid mistakes she/he has made?
• How have the actions or words of a celebrity or fictional character shaped some aspect of your personality?

Animals

• Did you have a pet as child? What did you learn from your pet?
• Did owning a pet alter your relationships with other people?
• Would you consider your pet your best friend? Why might you consider an animal a better friend than a person?
• Has your service animal or emotional support animal changed your life?

Family

• Think about your mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. How has one of your family members influenced you?
• Did she/he teach you a specific valuable lesson or shape your character in some way?
• Did she/he teach you important life skills?
• Do you wish you wouldn’t have listened to someone’s advice?
• Did you inherit your wicked sense of humor, empathetic nature, or love of music from a family member?
• Have you tried to learn from the mistakes of your family members so that you won’t make the same mistakes or follow the same path?
• What one piece of advice would you like to give your younger self?

Friends, significant others, teachers, and mentors

• Did a friend help you through a difficult time or offer words of wisdom that you’ll never forget?
• Did your so-called friend try to lead you in the wrong direction? How did you handle the situation?
• Has a significant other helped you see the world from a new perspective?
• Do you wish you had never met or dated a significant other? What did you learn from a negative dating experience?
• Did a teacher encourage or challenge you in unexpected ways?
• Did you have a mentor (such as a clergy member, Big Brother/Big Sister, or other mentor) who changed your attitude or changed your outlook on life?

What is one thing you wish one of these people knew about you? How does this aspect shape you and your perspectives, beliefs, and relationships with others?

College essay ideas about important experiences and moments in your life

Work and volunteer experiences

• What’s the most important lesson you learned at your first job?
• What one mistake did you make at a job that you’re happy you made?
• How did volunteering change your relationship with others or with the community?
• Do any of the people at work or at the places where you volunteer motivate or inspire you? What about in a previous job?
• How has your current job prepared you for a career in your chosen field?

Emotional moments

• What was the scariest, happiest, saddest, funniest, most embarrassing, or loneliest moment of your life?
• How did this moment shape you?
• What did you learn from this moment? Was it all positive, all negative, or both positive and negative?
• How did you handle the situation, or how did you cope with the outcome?

Decision-making moments

• Have you made spur-of-the-moment decisions that have impacted your life (either positively or negatively)?
• Have you made reasoned, well thought-out decisions? What was the outcome?
• Do you regret any important decisions you’ve made?
• Have you made seemingly insignificant decisions that made a big impact in your life?

Would you want to relive any of these moments? Would you like to relive them more than once? If you could change them, would you?

College essay ideas about the possessions in your life

Memories and mementos

• Do you have one or more treasured possessions that help ground you or remind you of someone, some thing, or a special event?
• Do you have any family heirlooms that speak to your family history?
• Did you collect any souvenirs or mementos from an event or vacation that are important to you in some way?
• Have you saved a letter written by a loved one? What meaning does the letter hold?
• Do you have a special family photo (old or new) that you treasure? What does the picture mean to you?

Personality and character

• How do your clothing choices, hair style, or jewelry display your personality?
• Do any of these objects have a deeper connection to your culture or heritage?
• Do you have any tattoos that reflect a personal memory or that are dedicated to someone?

Why are these objects so important to you? How can an object influence who you are and who you become?

Turn Your Ideas Into a College Essay

Now that you’ve read through the list above and have a handful of potential ideas for your college essay, begin brainstorming the stories you could tell.

You might realize that what sounded like a great idea quickly falls flat, and you have very little to say about the topic. That’s okay. Set it aside, and work through the remaining ideas on your list.

When you reach the topic that you feel you could write pages and pages about, you know you’re moving in the right direction. When you reach the topic that moves you and realize it’s a story that only you can tell, you know you’ve found the perfect idea for your college essay.

Remember: You’re not just telling a story about someone or about what happened.

The goal is to reflect on what you’ve learned and how the person, object, or event shaped you. Don’t try to embellish or make up a story that you think sounds good. Be honest, thoughtful, and genuine in your reflection. Your sincerity will be evident in your writing, and you’ll end up with a more powerful essay.

Additional resources

Looking for a few additional tips? Use these resources to help shape your ideas into a college essay:

• Use This Reflective Essay Outline to Get Your Paper Started
• What Is a Hook Sentence? (Infographic)
• Concise Writing: How to Writer a Strong Essay With Fewer Words
• Why Eliminating Wordiness Is So Important for Your Essay
• How to Revise an Essay and Make It Better Than Ever

Looking for additional writing inspiration? Take a look at these example college essays:

• My Desire to Specialize in Family Medicine
• Being Determined to Take My Leadership Skills Further
• The Lessons I’ve Learned From Getting Stuck in a Closet
• Sophomore Year as the Lowest Point of My Life

Can’t come up with any more ideas? Feeling like your essay is falling short of the amazing essay you know it could be? We’ve been editing college essays since 2011—let a Kibin editor help.

While the most important thing in your mind is meeting that word count, being too wordy can make your argument less impactful. Trust me—I know. The first 4,000-word paper I wrote was wordy and redundant, earning me the only D I’ve ever gotten on an essay.

But I’ve learned a lot in the 10 years since then, and now you get to benefit from that knowledge.

Long Sentences vs. Wordy Sentences

Before we get into why and how to avoid wordiness, we should first look at what it actually is. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I write some pretty long sentences. Does that make them wordy?

Not necessarily. In fact, long sentences are important—as long as you vary the length of your sentences. If you wrote a whole essay using nothing but short sentences, it would sound choppy. See this paragraph revamped as short sentences, for example:

Not necessarily. Long sentences are important. But vary the length. Don’t use only short sentences. It sounds choppy.

The original version was much better because it flowed better from one sentence to the next.

On the other side of the spectrum, you can have short and wordy sentences. Wordiness isn’t about length—it’s about content.

Take a look at these sentences:

Her mouth was watering a lot.

Her mouth watered.

While both sentences are short, the first has too many unnecessary words. The second gets the same message across without losing any meaning or context. Many teachers, writers, and readers would say it even sounds stronger than the first.

So what is wordiness? Simply put, it’s filling your sentences with unnecessary words.

Why Should You Avoid Wordy Sentences?

So you have a few unnecessary words in your sentences. What’s the big deal?

It’s true that you probably won’t fail your paper just because you have some wordiness. But it can detract from the impact of your essay. And if there’s too much wordiness, it makes it hard for your readers to find the important information you’ve worked so hard to include.

Concise language also makes you sound more confident as a writer. Take these two thesis statements, for example:

I believe the red A that Hester has to wear on her dress in The Scarlet Letter symbolizes shame at first, but later symbolizes Hester’s own independence.

The red A in The Scarlet Letter symbolizes both Hester’s shame and her independence.

Do you see how much clearer and more assured the second sentence is? It cut out the weasel words and the mention of the writer, leaving only what’s important. The intent is clear.

That’s what you want in your own writing.

How to Avoid Wordy Sentences

It’s one thing to understand why you should avoid wordiness, but you also need to know how. Don’t worry—I have you covered there too.

Take yourself out of the equation

What I’m referring to here are those “I believe,” “I think,” or “I’m going to show” statements. Unless you’re writing a personal essay that specifically requests experiences from your own life, you shouldn’t refer to yourself at all.

In this essay, I’m going to show how Louis Armstrong and other jazz musicians fought racism with their music in the 1930s and 1940s.

In the 1930s and 1940s, Louis Armstrong and other jazz musicians used their music to fight racism.

Writing in the third person not only cuts down on wordy sentences but also makes you sound more credible. It gives your voice more authority too.

Use stronger words

Adjectives and adverbs can be helpful. They often fill in specific details for your readers and give them a clear picture of what you’re describing. However, students and writers sometimes overuse adjectives and adverbs when they could have instead chosen a stronger noun or verb.

Take a look at the following examples. You probably won’t have these specific phrases in your essay, but it gives you a good idea of how you can use stronger words to reduce wordiness.

1. Walked leisurely → sauntered
2. Very tall man → giant
3. Shook violently → convulsed

Stronger nouns and verbs aren’t always going to be at the tip of your tongue, so don’t be afraid to use a thesaurus. Just be careful not to overuse it. After all, you don’t want your readers to have to use a thesaurus just to get through your essay.

Cut out weasel words

Weasel words are words writers use that aren’t necessary at all. They just seem to weasel their way into sentences without writers noticing. They’re not always easy to spot because we tend to use them when we speak. But unless you’re writing a very conversational piece, it’s best to be on the lookout for them.

A quick search online will show you lots of weasel word lists, but here are some of the most common ones:

• That
• Just
• Like
• Very
• Really
• Suddenly
• Began to

Take a look at these examples:

She said that you could use it.

She said you could use it.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

There was a loud knock on the door.

In the first example, “that” is a word that has no meaning and can be deleted without altering the meaning of the sentence.

In the second example, you see a case of a time-related weasel word. Other examples include “then,” “all at once,” etc.

Importantly, weasel words shouldn’t be confused with transitions. Sometimes you need words like “however,” “therefore,” “additionally,” and others to make your thoughts flow logically from one sentence to the next. These transitional words or phrases are helpful and often necessary, unlike the weasel words we discussed.

Edit your work—multiple times, if possible

When you write your first draft, you’re probably not thinking about the perfect words to use or which words are weasel words—and that’s okay. The important thing is to get your ideas organized on the page. It’s the editing stage where you’ll want to look out for wordy sentences.

Different people have different editing methods, but I’ll share mine with you to give you an idea of how to cut out the wordiness.

After the first draft, I put my writing aside for a day. That way, I can edit with fresh eyes.

The first edit is focused on big organizational changes. Are the paragraphs in the right order? Are there whole sentences or paragraphs you can eliminate altogether? You might try a reverse outline at this stage to help get things in order.

Once the organization is good, then comes the smaller, word-level edits. Hit Ctrl+F on your keyboard, and search for the following:

• That
• Really
• Very
• Adverbs ending in -ly
• Any weasel words you know you use too much

If the words are necessary, leave them in. But if you can delete them or change them to cut down on wordiness, do it.

Then, do one last round of edits to catch any other errors and to make sure everything still flows after the changes you’ve made.

I understand if you don’t have time to wait a day and do three rounds of edits after that. So feel free to modify the plan to fit your needs. But never forget the importance of proofreading and editing your work.

Still Think Your Essay Is Too Wordy?

For more ways to avoid wordiness in your essays, read Concise Writing: How to Write a Strong Essay With Fewer Words.

And if you still can’t find the wordy sentences in your essay or you’re not sure how to change them, you can get the help you need by turning to Kibin’s editors.

They’re here to show you potential missteps and help you correct issues with flow, wordiness, grammar, and more. That way, you know what to look out for when you write your next essay.